How this Blog Came to Life 

Three months into my maternity leave I was told by my boss that my job was being eliminated due to an internal restructuring. I didn’t see it coming. I thought my boss had scheduled the meeting to discuss my return to the office. I was completely blindsided. I was shocked, angry, upset, embarrassed, and frustrated. But if I was being honest with myself I also felt a tiny sense of relief. I was already dreading returning to work. We didn’t have family nearby so I would have had to either put Zoe in day care or hire a full time nanny. I couldn’t imagine leaving Zoe with total stranger especially when he was so little. I couldn’t fathom balancing work (which at times consisted of 80 hour work weeks) and motherhood.

Conversely, I liked the idea of having my own money. My father was the breadwinner and sole provider and I saw how imbalanced my parents relationship was. It’s like the old saying goes: nothing is free; you pay for it somehow. In my parents case, I watched my dad make all the important decisions and my mother have very little say. Where are we spending our summer holiday? What neighborhood are we moving to? What house are we going to live in? Sadly my mother had very little input. I didn’t want that for myself.

I also wanted my own money. I want to be able to walk into Chanel and buy a purse (or a few) and not have anyone questioning my financial decisions. Maybe its because I’ve been so fiercely independent all my life. I just knew that having a ‘side hustle’ as the kids call it would be good for me. Being a stay-at-home mom would still be my main ‘job’ and priority but I’d like to have something else I was working towards.

Also, what if things don’t work out between myself and Zoe’s father? Wouldn’t it be imprudent of me to not have any income source? Wouldn’t I be doing my son (and myself) a disservice by becoming 100% dependent on his father? I hate to think this way but the realities of marriage are grim: approximately 50% of all marriages end up in divorce or separation. I need to think of Zoe and what is best for him. It’s no longer just me. I have a son that I need to think about. He comes first. 

Additionally, I wanted something to call my own. Since my group of girl friends became mothers a few became stay-at-home moms, however, most pivoted in their careers: one became a real estate agent, one started her own interior decorating firm, and one started a recruiting agency. I so desperately wanted my own purpose outside of being a mommy but what??!?! My options felt limited. Should I sell pictures of my toes (kidding… kind of)? Start an OnlyFans page (definitely kidding)? Should I start an Amazon business? Trade crypto? Become a day trader? Maybe I should find an easy 9-5 job? I suppose I could give up Wall Street for the warm embrace of a government job? 

After racking my brain for months and months I decided to start this blog. I liked the autonomy and flexibility. I could write whenever I had pockets of free time during the day. I liked that I didn’t have a boss to report to. I had the space to create when my schedule allowed. If we went on vacation or my son got sick I could simply skip a few days or even weeks and pick up right where I left off. I also loved the opportunity to be creative. I’m a Pisces and have always considered myself a creative creature. I’ve always loved writing and journaling has been something I’ve done for years. I figured if my blog failed as a business then at least it would be a creative outlet for me. 

I also liked the idea of helping others. Motherhood can be a bumpy ride and I wanted to be there for other mommy’s. I certainly found the transition into motherhood quite daunting and I wish I had known that I wasn’t alone. They say it takes a village to raise a child but not everyone has a village. Not everyone has a strong support system. Not everyone has friends/family to lean on. I want to be an extension of your village. I want you to be able to lean on me and come to me when you need some advice or a good laugh. I want to be your go-to virtual mommy friend. I truly mean that. Please feel free to contact me via email or DM. I’m here for you!

Once I started blogging I immediately loved it. It became quite cathartic. I spent all my free time (which was limited since I was chasing after an energetic 1 year old all day long) brainstorming and writing. Every evening I would put my son to sleep and then race to my desk and either write in my journal or type on my laptop (depending on my mood). This blog was my passion project and I went all in. I’m not sure what will become of it or how it will evolve but for now I’m enjoying the ride and grateful for my readers! So thank you for reading and thank you for your support! I appreciate you! You make this possible for me!

If you can relate to this story, I’m sorry that you had to go through this but trust that something better is in store for you! I would not have been happy working 80 hour work weeks and being away from my son. I would not have been happy missing out on family activities because I had a deadline. I would not have enjoyed missing bed time because of a pressing deliverable. 

I plan to write a step by step guide on how to actually create a blog and do a deep dive into the logistics and finances behind it. Please let me know if that is something that you’d be interested in! 

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Preparing For a Baby

I thought I’d write a post about preparing for a baby because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. Some of these pieces of wisdom I’m going to bestow onto you might be so obvious to you but they weren’t to me (please don’t judge me) so I wanted to write this post in hopes I can save you from some of the misery that I had as a new mom.

My first bit of advice is to if you’re planning to move (for whatever reason) do so with ample time before your due date. In my case, my home was simply too small for the baby. At the time, I lived in a beautiful, luxury building with every amenity possible but the apartment was just too small. Frankly, I had even outgrown the apartment years prior but stayed because I owned it and it was just easier to stay. We didn’t start seriously looking for apartments until my third trimester. I think the reason was a combination of factors: I was too preoccupied with work, I was sick all the time (nauseous, fatigued, borderline migraines), we couldn’t decide on a neighborhood, etc). But we really should not have put it off. We finally signed on a lease at the beginning of February and our move in date was February 15th. I thought I had plenty of time. Our due date was March 20th and my doctor said that based on my medical history and statistics she expected me to deliver late so I thought I had 5 weeks at least to unpack and settle into my new home. Little did I know that Zoe would arrive on February 26th, 2022 – just 11 days after our move in date. We were still in boxes and most of our furniture hadn’t even arrived. It was quite a rollercoaster but we made it work. 

If you’re planning to have outside help, make sure you have a back up. Even if it’s a relative, make sure to have a back up lined up. My husband and I had compiled a list of recommended night nurses/nannies and wrapped up interviews the fall/winter of 2021. We found what we thought was the perfect woman; a sweet Panamanian lady who had extensive experience and was going to provide help as both a night nurse and nanny. We communicated to her that we intended to hire her and gave her the due date. Fast forward to the baby’s arrival, we called her, texted her, emailed her, sent a pigeon, sent smoke signals… nothing. She had completely ghosted us. It was quite frustrating that she would leave us high and dry but we quickly made alternative plans. Luckily my mother had recently retired. My mother got on the first flight from Florida and stayed with us for six weeks until we felt we had it under control. We then hired a part time nanny shortly thereafter. 

If there are items on your registry that did not get purchased by friends and family, purchase them at least a month before the due date. Since we had just moved into our new home, we didn’t get around to purchasing the odd bits that weren’t gifted to us. It was easy enough to make the necessary orders on Amazon, but I’d like to save you that headache because trust me when I say your hands will be quite full once your newborn arrives.

I recommend reading a few books before the baby comes. I was so clueless and didn’t know the first thing about being a parent. I had never even had a pet rock. The closest I came to being a mommy is when I tried to adopt a dog from an animal shelter in my mid-twenties and got denied (still pretty hurt about getting denied but I think I asked too many suspicious/damaging questions such as ‘so what do dogs eat?’ and ‘can I bring him to bars with me or does he need to be a service dog?’. I prepared by reading 3 books: ‘Moms on Call, Basic Baby Care, 0-6 Months,’ ‘Bringing up Bébé,’ and ‘Be Your Child’s Pediatrician.’ ‘Moms on Call’ by Laura Hunter and Jennifer Walker was a very straight forward and educational read that covers everything from baby care to sleep routines. It’s more of a Western approach to parenting. Certainly read it with a grain of salt – I found it helpful since I was so bewildered but I will admit some of the advice didn’t align with my parenting style. ‘Bringing up Bébé’ by Pamela Druckerman is the skinny on French parenting. It’s more of a fun, anecdotal read and less practical but I found it enjoyable. ‘Be Your Child’s Pediatrician’ by Rachel Weaver is an excellent resource for mommies seeking natural remedies to support their child’s health. This book is a more homeopathic and natural approach to parenting that mostly resonated with me.

There are also a lot of amazing mommy blogs out there that have a wealth of information. I would, of course, highly recommend The Mommy Archives but I’m clearly biased. A quick google search yields so many wonderful mommy blogs that not only have useful information but get you excited of what is to come!

Tackle whatever is on your personal to-do list. Do not put anything off. For example, one of the items that was on the top of my to-do list was my taxes. I thought I had more time to do it but with the baby coming 3 weeks early I simply ran out of time. So whether it’s something as important as applying for life insurance of as insignificant as a hair cut (the significance of a hair cut is actually debatable as it’s a top priority for me lol), please get it done. 

I recommend storing some easy frozen foods in your freezer. I’ll admit, I’m not big on any frozen foods unless it’s ice cream. I try to eat healthy and frozen foods by and large don’t exactly fit that category. However, once you bring home your newborn it’s going to be a bit chaotic and you won’t be so quick to turn your nose up to a frozen pizza. 

I hope these tips are helpful. I certainly could have used this advice before Zoe arrived. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all differently but then again my baby arrived healthy and happy and that’s all that matters, right?

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