Three months into my maternity leave I was told by my boss that my job was being eliminated due to an internal restructuring. I didn’t see it coming. I thought my boss had scheduled the meeting to discuss my return to the office. I was completely blindsided. I was shocked, angry, upset, embarrassed, and frustrated. But if I was being honest with myself I also felt a tiny sense of relief. I was already dreading returning to work. We didn’t have family nearby so I would have had to either put Zoe in day care or hire a full time nanny. I couldn’t imagine leaving Zoe with total stranger especially when he was so little. I couldn’t fathom balancing work (which at times consisted of 80 hour work weeks) and motherhood.
Conversely, I liked the idea of having my own money. My father was the breadwinner and sole provider and I saw how imbalanced my parents relationship was. It’s like the old saying goes: nothing is free; you pay for it somehow. In my parents case, I watched my dad make all the important decisions and my mother have very little say. Where are we spending our summer holiday? What neighborhood are we moving to? What house are we going to live in? Sadly my mother had very little input. I didn’t want that for myself.
I also wanted my own money. I want to be able to walk into Chanel and buy a purse (or a few) and not have anyone questioning my financial decisions. Maybe its because I’ve been so fiercely independent all my life. I just knew that having a ‘side hustle’ as the kids call it would be good for me. Being a stay-at-home mom would still be my main ‘job’ and priority but I’d like to have something else I was working towards.
Also, what if things don’t work out between myself and Zoe’s father? Wouldn’t it be imprudent of me to not have any income source? Wouldn’t I be doing my son (and myself) a disservice by becoming 100% dependent on his father? I hate to think this way but the realities of marriage are grim: approximately 50% of all marriages end up in divorce or separation. I need to think of Zoe and what is best for him. It’s no longer just me. I have a son that I need to think about. He comes first.
Additionally, I wanted something to call my own. Since my group of girl friends became mothers a few became stay-at-home moms, however, most pivoted in their careers: one became a real estate agent, one started her own interior decorating firm, and one started a recruiting agency. I so desperately wanted my own purpose outside of being a mommy but what??!?! My options felt limited. Should I sell pictures of my toes (kidding… kind of)? Start an OnlyFans page (definitely kidding)? Should I start an Amazon business? Trade crypto? Become a day trader? Maybe I should find an easy 9-5 job? I suppose I could give up Wall Street for the warm embrace of a government job?
After racking my brain for months and months I decided to start this blog. I liked the autonomy and flexibility. I could write whenever I had pockets of free time during the day. I liked that I didn’t have a boss to report to. I had the space to create when my schedule allowed. If we went on vacation or my son got sick I could simply skip a few days or even weeks and pick up right where I left off. I also loved the opportunity to be creative. I’m a Pisces and have always considered myself a creative creature. I’ve always loved writing and journaling has been something I’ve done for years. I figured if my blog failed as a business then at least it would be a creative outlet for me.
I also liked the idea of helping others. Motherhood can be a bumpy ride and I wanted to be there for other mommy’s. I certainly found the transition into motherhood quite daunting and I wish I had known that I wasn’t alone. They say it takes a village to raise a child but not everyone has a village. Not everyone has a strong support system. Not everyone has friends/family to lean on. I want to be an extension of your village. I want you to be able to lean on me and come to me when you need some advice or a good laugh. I want to be your go-to virtual mommy friend. I truly mean that. Please feel free to contact me via email or DM. I’m here for you!
Once I started blogging I immediately loved it. It became quite cathartic. I spent all my free time (which was limited since I was chasing after an energetic 1 year old all day long) brainstorming and writing. Every evening I would put my son to sleep and then race to my desk and either write in my journal or type on my laptop (depending on my mood). This blog was my passion project and I went all in. I’m not sure what will become of it or how it will evolve but for now I’m enjoying the ride and grateful for my readers! So thank you for reading and thank you for your support! I appreciate you! You make this possible for me!
If you can relate to this story, I’m sorry that you had to go through this but trust that something better is in store for you! I would not have been happy working 80 hour work weeks and being away from my son. I would not have been happy missing out on family activities because I had a deadline. I would not have enjoyed missing bed time because of a pressing deliverable.
I plan to write a step by step guide on how to actually create a blog and do a deep dive into the logistics and finances behind it. Please let me know if that is something that you’d be interested in!
