Does anyone even remember the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign or did I just age myself with the title of this blog post? For those of you who are too young to recall the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign I swear I’m a cool mom! Anyway, let’s dive right into today’s topic: breastfeeding. Or should I say nursing? I’m not sure why I prefer saying nursing over breastfeeding but I do. I think the term ‘breastfeeding’ is just too graphic for me. But I digress.
Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart. My journey with breastfeeding has been long, beautiful, challenging, painful, and rewarding. When I was pregnant with Zoe I told myself that I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to breastfeed, I was already getting enough pressure from family/friends/society. But of course once my little munchkin arrived I was hellbent on nursing. I had absolutely no clue what I was even doing. I hadn’t done any research, read any books, or watched any educational videos. I hadn’t planned to wing it but Zoe came early and I was not prepared. Lucky for me Zoe was a little pro and showed me how it was done. He expertly latched on straight out of the womb and the rest was history. I remember the nurses coming by and congratulating me and I felt like a total fraud – I didn’t deserve any credit, Zoe did.
What I also remember was the immediate pain. No one warned me about the pain. How my nipples would feel raw and sensitive from the sucking. How my boobs would feel engorged if I didn’t express the milk. How my nipples would bleed if Zoe sucked too hard. Luckily the hospital I delivered at provided nipple cream; the cream and ice gave me relief in between feedings.
I had planned to stock up on infant formula at home in the event I couldn’t produce milk (which I highly recommend) but Zoe came over 3 weeks before his due date and I never got around to researching and ordering it. Fortunately for me I was able to produce milk. However, that doesn’t mean my breastfeeding journey was easy. From chapped nipples to mastitis, it was far from easy.
Ironically, just as I felt pressure to breastfeed, I’m now feeling pressure to stop. Zoe is now 25 months old and friends and family alike are gently questioning why I’m still nursing. I honestly don’t even know why I’m still committed to it. Partly because I don’t have the capacity to end it. I know there will be a lot of sleepless nights involving tears and tantrums when I deny Zoe of his beloved ‘milky’ and I’m just not ready for that. I simply don’t have the energy. I also appreciate the bond that I have with Zoe. It’s our special little time together. I’m not ready to let that go. What if I don’t have more children? Or what if I have another child and I’m unable to produce milk? I’m just not ready to give that up. Not to mention it’s a bulletproof weight loss program. It’s certainly better than any diet I’ve ever tried (and I’ve tried them all from Keto to Paleo). I can eat my little heart out (trust me, I have tested this theory) and still watch my waist shrink. I can finally skip Barry’s Bootcamp without the added guilt. Not that I would have time for a scheduled workout class anyway – those little luxuries are a thing of the past (at least for now until I can get my life in order). The extent of my cardio these days are chasing my son down the aisles of the local library (he’s become a flight risk).
I’m proud of myself for sticking to it. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve been to the urgent care twice and hospitalized once all from mastitis yet here I am soldering on. Each time I sought medical help they had to give me multiple IV packs. Nursing is quite literally depleting.
I’m trying to not let societal pressures dictate what I do. 10 years from now I’m sure I won’t look back and think ‘I wish I hadn’t nursed Zoe for so long.’ But I’m sure had I given up early in my breastfeeding journey, I’d certainly think to myself ‘I wish I hadn’t dropped nursing at 2 months’…
My pregnant friend recently asked for advice on breastfeeding. She’s terrified she won’t be able to produce milk. But the reality is only 5-10% of women can’t produce milk. So don’t be deterred if you’re goal is to breastfeed. If you think about breastfeeding in terms of mammals, I’ve never heard of a specie going extinct because of their inability to produce milk.
After all isn’t nursing the most natural thing? Although at times it can certainly feel unnatural. In the beginning when visitors came over to meet Zoe and he would cry they would immediately hand him over to me saying ‘oh he’s hungry.’ I distinctly recall feeling like a wet nurse or a cow (or both). I also remember feeling so awkward and nervous those first few months when I had to breastfeed in public. I’d try hide it as much as possible. I would step out during parties with friends or events with family and what I realized is that I was simply missing out on so many moments so I decided to just nurse in public and what I noticed is no one really cares.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to achieve in this blog post – usually I have a goal in mind but today I just needed to vent a little. If anything I hope I encouraged you to embark or continue on your breastfeeding journey! Thank you for listening and if you’re breastfeeding I recognize how hard it is: latch issues, inverted nipples, tongue ties, self doubt, etc. You are doing great! You’re strong! You’re resilient! You’re powerful!
Below are items that I found useful for nursing:
- Electric breast pump – I choose the Spectra S1 Plus Pump because I heard it wasn’t painful to use and it has a rechargeable battery so you can pump almost anywhere (I know someone who pumped in the car on her way to/from work but I won’t name names). I got most of the pump subsidized by my medical insurance so check with your insurance before purchasing!
- Manual pump and milk collector – the Haaka Pump and Ladybug Milk Collectors are essential for breastfeeding (I ordered 2 of each). The Haaka pump is a manual pump. The ladybugs are useful milk collectors. Also these products are BPA, PVC and phthalate-free
- Nipple Cream – I used the Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream for no other reason than it was what the hospital provided and it seemed to be sufficient so I continued to purchase that particular brand
- Breast Milk Storage Bags – there are so many of these breast milk storage bags on the market. While this is a fairly inexpensive purchase I would still do research as some reviews I read had leakage issues and the last thing you want is losing precious drops of milk (you’ll be saving every drop as if it was holy water). I purchased the Medela Breast Milk Storage Bags (6oz) and had no issues
- Bottles – we ordered a bunch of different bottles but the ones that worked best for us was the Medela Slow Flow (something else that you will learn is that bottle tips vary in the strength of the flow of the milk)
- Drying rack – we got the Boon Grass Countertop Drying Rack for bottles (can also be used for baby plates, baby utensils, Haakas, pacifiers, teeters, etc.)
- Feeding pillow – we were gifted the Boppy Feeding Pillow and I’m grateful I was gifted it because it’s not something I would have bought but now that I have it I can’t live without it. You can use it when nursing or bottle feeding. It can also double as a tummy time for your little one. I must say it’s a genius invention and really useful
- Formula – in case you either can’t or choose not to breastfeed
Below are resources for mommies who are nursing:
- La Leche League – this is an online community of mothers all committed to breastfeeding. They meet virtually which is very convenient! Feel free to come prepared with questions as they offer information, support and encouragement
- Lactaction consultant – most insurance companies cover lactation consultants. I met with a lactation consultant a few times and found them very useful
- Friends and family – I was lucky enough to have both friends and family that supported my breastfeeding journey and answered all my questions no matter how embarrassing they were
