New York City is getting me down. The reasons I used to love this city are now reasons I’m starting to despise it. The energy of the city which once made me feel so young and alive now fills me with anxiety and dread. The people here that once inspired me now fill me with impatience. My familiar stomping grounds now elicit indifference. What I took as conveniences now feel burdensome. This city that once felt magical now feels quite exhausting.
I can’t quite pinpoint when this happened but it’s been a gradual evolution as I’ve stepped into the role of motherhood. Everything is simply exponentially harder. Should I move to a new neighborhood? Should I buy a car? Do I simply need a bigger space? Or is it time for me move out completely? How do you know when it’s time to move out of NYC??!
Before I had my son, NYC felt truly magical. I loved it here. I loved everything about the city. I truly felt that NYC was the best city in the world. I felt like anything was possible. You never knew who you were going to meet or where the night would take you. At any given moment your life could completely change. I can’t imagine spending my 20’s anywhere else. Partying. Dating. Hustling. Life was an endless adventure. From weekends partying in the Hamptons to nights dancing on tables at Simyone Lounge (what we regulars called SL) – I lived it up.
Once I had retired as a party girl I focused my energy on my career. I got my Masters. I then conquered the CPA. I worked my way up from a Staff Accountant to a Controller. Years of grinding away finally paid off. I was financially stable and had settled into a happy relationship where we enjoyed nice dinners and the occasional trips to the ballet or a broadway show.
Then Zoe came along and everything changed. Life has become so hard. Just getting around town is difficult. The busses are so unreliable. Subways are not only dangerous but mostly impossible to navigate as most don’t even have elevators. Taxis are out out of the question. You try getting into a yellow cab with a baby, car seat, diaper bag, and purse. And forget about Uber Carseat, it’s easier to get a reservation at the Polo Bar than it is to get an Uber with a carseat.
I used to love the seasons in NYC. Growing up in Southern California with temperature staying pretty constant made me appreciate NYC. However, the cold is simply not fun with a baby. You try wrestling with a screaming 1 year to get him into a North Face bodysuit. Forget about the balaclava – you’d think I was skinning him alive the way he screams. And who wants to put on 20 layers just to grab a cup of coffee and a bagel. Not me. Certainly not Zoe.
I also can’t help but notice how dirty the city has become. Maybe it was always this dirty and I was seeing the city though rose colored glasses? Or maybe the city has gotten more and more dirty over time? All I know is that everywhere I turn there is a rat, mouse, or a roach or all three.
Even the museums are overrated. I know, I must sound like a snob but hear me out. I recently went to a museum which I thought would be the perfect educational activity for Zoe. I had planned the whole afternoon around this trip only to find out once I arrived that I had to check in my stroller. And of course, I didn’t bring the carrier. You try carrying a 30 pound baby for an hour. I’m not sure if this is a normal protocol but I went to a few museums in Milan this past winter and had no problem taking the stroller everywhere.
Also the people here are simply a different breed. I used to love the people. I loved their hustle. I loved their drive. I loved their ambition. The only thing I’m ambitious about lately is getting to bed early. I used to really get the New York busyness. But that was the old me: the go-getter Jules. The new mommy Jules just can’t relate. I no longer have that desire to climb the corporate ladder. The only ladders I see myself climbing in the future are those at the jungle gym.
I can’t help but wonder how much my life would improve moving elsewhere. Am I ready? Is it time? Will I regret it? Will I get bored? The grass isn’t always greener. And where would I move to? Long Island? Westchester? Connecticut? New Jersey? We have about 8 more months on our lease but I need to think long and hard now where I want to be in the future.
Maybe it’s time for me to leave the Northeast completely. My parents now live in Florida and I can feel it in my bones that I will end up there eventually. Has that time come? I’d love more space. I’d love living close to the beach. I’d love being close to my parents. I’d love having access to good public schools. All of the quintessential benefits of moving out of New York City are quite alluring.
Also, how am I going to convince my husband? He hasn’t had the same struggles that I’ve dealt with this past year. The stress. The challenges. The loneliness. The few times I’ve approached the topic he seems to think NYC is the best place in the world to raise a family. Maybe we can live bicoastal? We could get a house in South Florida and keep a pied-à-terre in NYC. That would be a win-win for everyone.
What it really boils down to is what is best for Zoe? And what is best for me as his mommy? Where can I be the best version of myself? Where will I be the happiest mommy? Where do I see us growing as a family? Where will we thrive as a family? NYC does’t feel like the answer to any of those questions…
Does anyone even remember the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign or did I just age myself with the title of this blog post? For those of you who are too young to recall the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign I swear I’m a cool mom! Anyway, let’s dive right into today’s topic: breastfeeding. Or should I say nursing? I’m not sure why I prefer saying nursing over breastfeeding but I do. I think the term ‘breastfeeding’ is just too graphic for me. But I digress.
Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart. My journey with breastfeeding has been long, beautiful, challenging, painful, and rewarding. When I was pregnant with Zoe I told myself that I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to breastfeed, I was already getting enough pressure from family/friends/society. But of course once my little munchkin arrived I was hellbent on nursing. I had absolutely no clue what I was even doing. I hadn’t done any research, read any books, or watched any educational videos. I hadn’t planned to wing it but Zoe came early and I was not prepared. Lucky for me Zoe was a little pro and showed me how it was done. He expertly latched on straight out of the womb and the rest was history. I remember the nurses coming by and congratulating me and I felt like a total fraud – I didn’t deserve any credit, Zoe did.
What I also remember was the immediate pain. No one warned me about the pain. How my nipples would feel raw and sensitive from the sucking. How my boobs would feel engorged if I didn’t express the milk. How my nipples would bleed if Zoe sucked too hard. Luckily the hospital I delivered at provided nipple cream; the cream and ice gave me relief in between feedings.
I had planned to stock up on infant formula at home in the event I couldn’t produce milk (which I highly recommend) but Zoe came over 3 weeks before his due date and I never got around to researching and ordering it. Fortunately for me I was able to produce milk. However, that doesn’t mean my breastfeeding journey was easy. From chapped nipples to mastitis, it was far from easy.
Ironically, just as I felt pressure to breastfeed, I’m now feeling pressure to stop. Zoe is now 25 months old and friends and family alike are gently questioning why I’m still nursing. I honestly don’t even know why I’m still committed to it. Partly because I don’t have the capacity to end it. I know there will be a lot of sleepless nights involving tears and tantrums when I deny Zoe of his beloved ‘milky’ and I’m just not ready for that. I simply don’t have the energy. I also appreciate the bond that I have with Zoe. It’s our special little time together. I’m not ready to let that go. What if I don’t have more children? Or what if I have another child and I’m unable to produce milk? I’m just not ready to give that up. Not to mention it’s a bulletproof weight loss program. It’s certainly better than any diet I’ve ever tried (and I’ve tried them all from Keto to Paleo). I can eat my little heart out (trust me, I have tested this theory) and still watch my waist shrink. I can finally skip Barry’s Bootcamp without the added guilt. Not that I would have time for a scheduled workout class anyway – those little luxuries are a thing of the past (at least for now until I can get my life in order). The extent of my cardio these days are chasing my son down the aisles of the local library (he’s become a flight risk).
I’m proud of myself for sticking to it. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve been to the urgent care twice and hospitalized once all from mastitis yet here I am soldering on. Each time I sought medical help they had to give me multiple IV packs. Nursing is quite literally depleting.
I’m trying to not let societal pressures dictate what I do. 10 years from now I’m sure I won’t look back and think ‘I wish I hadn’t nursed Zoe for so long.’ But I’m sure had I given up early in my breastfeeding journey, I’d certainly think to myself ‘I wish I hadn’t dropped nursing at 2 months’…
My pregnant friend recently asked for advice on breastfeeding. She’s terrified she won’t be able to produce milk. But the reality is only 5-10% of women can’t produce milk. So don’t be deterred if you’re goal is to breastfeed. If you think about breastfeeding in terms of mammals, I’ve never heard of a specie going extinct because of their inability to produce milk.
After all isn’t nursing the most natural thing? Although at times it can certainly feel unnatural. In the beginning when visitors came over to meet Zoe and he would cry they would immediately hand him over to me saying ‘oh he’s hungry.’ I distinctly recall feeling like a wet nurse or a cow (or both). I also remember feeling so awkward and nervous those first few months when I had to breastfeed in public. I’d try hide it as much as possible. I would step out during parties with friends or events with family and what I realized is that I was simply missing out on so many moments so I decided to just nurse in public and what I noticed is no one really cares.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to achieve in this blog post – usually I have a goal in mind but today I just needed to vent a little. If anything I hope I encouraged you to embark or continue on your breastfeeding journey! Thank you for listening and if you’re breastfeeding I recognize how hard it is: latch issues, inverted nipples, tongue ties, self doubt, etc. You are doing great! You’re strong! You’re resilient! You’re powerful!
Below are items that I found useful for nursing:
Electric breast pump – I choose the Spectra S1 Plus Pump because I heard it wasn’t painful to use and it has a rechargeable battery so you can pump almost anywhere (I know someone who pumped in the car on her way to/from work but I won’t name names). I got most of the pump subsidized by my medical insurance so check with your insurance before purchasing!
Manual pump and milk collector – the Haaka Pump and Ladybug Milk Collectors are essential for breastfeeding (I ordered 2 of each). The Haaka pump is a manual pump. The ladybugs are useful milk collectors. Also these products are BPA, PVC and phthalate-free
Nipple Cream – I used the Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream for no other reason than it was what the hospital provided and it seemed to be sufficient so I continued to purchase that particular brand
Breast Milk Storage Bags – there are so many of these breast milk storage bags on the market. While this is a fairly inexpensive purchase I would still do research as some reviews I read had leakage issues and the last thing you want is losing precious drops of milk (you’ll be saving every drop as if it was holy water). I purchased the Medela Breast Milk Storage Bags (6oz) and had no issues
Bottles – we ordered a bunch of different bottles but the ones that worked best for us was the Medela Slow Flow (something else that you will learn is that bottle tips vary in the strength of the flow of the milk)
Drying rack – we got the Boon Grass Countertop Drying Rack for bottles (can also be used for baby plates, baby utensils, Haakas, pacifiers, teeters, etc.)
Feeding pillow – we were gifted the Boppy Feeding Pillow and I’m grateful I was gifted it because it’s not something I would have bought but now that I have it I can’t live without it. You can use it when nursing or bottle feeding. It can also double as a tummy time for your little one. I must say it’s a genius invention and really useful
Formula – in case you either can’t or choose not to breastfeed
Below are resources for mommies who are nursing:
La Leche League – this is an online community of mothers all committed to breastfeeding. They meet virtually which is very convenient! Feel free to come prepared with questions as they offer information, support and encouragement
Lactaction consultant – most insurance companies cover lactation consultants. I met with a lactation consultant a few times and found them very useful
Friends and family – I was lucky enough to have both friends and family that supported my breastfeeding journey and answered all my questions no matter how embarrassing they were
I wouldn’t call myself a stationary aficionado or a stationary addict but I can appreciate beautiful stationary. Oh the joys of growing old. One day I’m staring longingly at $2,000 Jacquemus leather mini skirt and the next day (or a few years but whose counting) I’m fawning over fancy stationary. However, contrary to popular belief fancy stationary doesn’t need to be expensive. Enter Basic Invite. There’s nothing basic about Basic Invite (except maybe the prices). Basic Invite is a one stop shop for your stationary needs and with graduation around the corner this could save you a lot of time and a lot of money. They even have announcement cards for graduation and photo graduation thank you cards.
As a mom, I know you have a lot on your plate; let’s not add stationary to it. Basic Invite simplifies your stationary needs. Below are a few of my favorite things about Basic Invite:
There are over 180 color choices – it would be a tragedy to use periwinkle instead of mauve but that won’t happen with Basic Invite!
Custom samples – if you have strong cognitive dissonance, decision fatigue, or commitment issues (or all of the above – I’m not judging) I’m sure you want to see it and feel it before ordering. Basic Invite allows customers to order a printed sample of their actual invitation before they place their final order.
Free envelopes – is it just me or did ‘free’ become my favorite word once I became a mom? Basic Invite orders come with free white peel-and-stick envelopes, ready to be addressed.
Address Capturing Service – You don’t have to worry about sending the wrong card to the wrong person (if only this were around when you sent that nude to your boss instead of your boyfriend or was that just me?!?)… Basic Invite offers a service to make gathering addresses from friends and family a breeze. Share a personalized link on Facebook, X (Twitter), Instagram, through text, or any other media to request friends’ and family’s addresses. Addresses are stored securely in the customer’s account and can be selected for print during the design process.
Foil – nothing says fancy like foil. Foil cards are available in gold, silver, and rose gold.
Good news, Basic Invite is offering 15% off with coupon code: 15FF51
I’m done with decisions. If I have to make one more decision my head is going to explode. I swear I’m going to lose my mind. Since Zoe was born I’ve had to make what feels like endless decisions. From diapers to bottles to wipes to laundry detergent to shampoo. Actually, the decision making started when I got pregnant. From selecting the right hospital to choosing the right doctor, it has felt like I’m riding a never-ending decision train.
It’s quite exhausting and every decision feels like to carries so much weight. Every decision feels so crucial. What if I buy the sunscreen with benzene? What if I buy the oatmeal with heavy metals? What if I buy the toothpaste with fluoride? Sadly a lot of brands that purport to be ‘clean’ are far from it so I need to research EVERYTHING.
Some decisions are bigger than others, such as finding the right pediatrician or hiring a part-time nanny. These are the decisions I do not take lightly. They directly impact the health, happiness and wellbeing of my son.
Other decisions are by nature not as colossal, for example choosing swaddles or burp clothes. But even these require some research. After doing some online reading I found out that the clothing industry is notoriously toxic. With the addition of dyes, formaldehyde, flame retardants, and pesticides it became clear that even clothing was something I had to scrutinize before buying (which is why I try to purchase exclusively 100% certified organic for Zoe, when possible).
I resent my husband for not helping but I also can’t imagine any husband that is taking this on. Why does this all fall on us mommies? We already do so much. I’m sure most mommies can relate. The burden is too much for us. This is the invisible labor that is my burden and my burden alone. While my husband is drifting off to sleep, I’m still scrolling for a BPA free, dishwasher safe, non-toxic teether for my little tot. I’ve never wanted to divorce him more. How could he possibly sleep when we have a laundry list of things that we need to get for Zoe?
I’ve been agonizing over every decision as if I was selecting his future college. The weight of the decisions takes a toll. Choosing a color for my nails at my last pedicure felt like a chore. I’m sick of making decisions.
I wonder if every mother goes through these motions. Does every mother feel this way? The pressure to make the right decision otherwise the entire future trajectory of Zoe’s life will forever change?
What neighborhood will we raise Zoe? Upper West Side? Tribeca? West Village? Or will we venture deeper into Brooklyn? Or perhaps we will migrate further out to Westchester or Long Island. Or will we leave NY altogether? Maybe Jersey or Connecticut? Maybe the east coast isn’t the best upbringing for Zoe. I’ve always wanted to move to Florida but is that what is best for Zoe?
Where will Zoe go for school? Public? Private? I went to public school but my husband went to private school. What is best for Zoe? What is best for our family? We also don’t have unlimited money so we need to look at our finances and budget accordingly.
The decisions my husband and I make now will affect my son for the rest of his life. That feels heavy. That stakes are high. I just want to do the right thing for him. I want to give him all the things I never had. I want him to live a full life. I want him to reflect on his childhood with only happy and fond memories.
I miss the days when the toughest decision I had to make was where I was going to be able to snag a reservation for dinner.
If you’re feeling like me and are completely overwhelmed with all of the decisions we as mommies have to make then let me remind you that you’re not alone. I feel for you. I hear you. I’m right there with you sister.
I’ve compiled a list of ways to make our life a tiny bit easier:
Apps – there are apps that you can download and then take a picture of the barcode of the item you are looking into and they either rate it or give you a grade of the item plus an explanation. One that I particularly like for food and personal care is Yuka
Friends/family – what I have started to do is lean on like-minded friends and family. I have friends/family that are exactly like me and want the very best for their children
Blogs – there are blogs that do the dirty work for you so you can sit back, grab a snack and simply put items directly into your cart knowing they’ve been vetted… hint hint The Mommy Archives!
Delegate – sometimes you just need to ask for help. My husband is great at electronics so I asked him to find the best baby monitor and nanny cameras for us. My father is great with cars so I asked him to look into a new car for me as taking the subway with a toddler plus stroller plus diaper bag has become impossible and I’m sick of relying on taxis/Uber/Lyft
Facebook Groups – I know what you’re thinking, people still use Facebook? The answer is surprisingly yes. There are some really fantastic mommy groups on Facebook that have a plethora of information. And if you don’t see what you’re looking for, feel free to post on the group and women from all over will jump in to help. Don’t worry, you can post annonomously if you’d like. I’m in a few local Mommy Groups and my most recent post was trying to secure a venue for Zoe’s first birthday. They mommies came through and found me a convenient and affordable establishment
Whatever you can do to take the load off yourself will payoff. You certainly can’t do this alone! It will get easier, I promise!
When I first had Zoe I remember thinking to myself day after day that I did nothing today. I would end each day scanning though my to-do list only to realize that not only did I not cross anything off but I had somehow managed to add to it. My to-do list was growing and so were my anxieties. I would feel guilty for not being more ‘productive.’ What is our society’s obsession with productivity anyway? Why does productivity need to be measured in accomplishments? Maybe we’re measuring productivity all wrong. Or maybe we need to release our focus on productivity as a sign of a successful day.
That’s actually the one thing I miss about my life in corporate America. I miss that feeling of accomplishment and having something to show for a days hard work. Most days as a stay-at-home-mom you have nothing to show for your day yet it was far from easy and far from slow. Most days are busy and active (and sometimes even chaotic).
There are days where I find myself dreading the inevitable question from my husband when he gets home from work: what did you guys do today? Or the follow up question: did you guys leave the apartment today? I mean what’s with the third degree. I don’t need an interrogation. I want to reply: what are you, a cop? But I don’t. I take a few deep breaths and plaster a smile on my face. I know my husband doesn’t mean any harm by his questions but I can’t help but get defensive. I know my husband is genuinely curious and not trying to make me feel bad but I feel shame and guilt nonetheless. Does anyone else find these questions triggering?
And most days when asked what we did I can’t help but feel embarrassed. Some days we have nothing to show for it. Some days I haven’t even gotten dressed. Some days I haven’t even washed my face. Some days I haven’t even brushed my teeth. Some days I haven’t even eaten a solid meal. Sure there are the days when the stars align and I have done the laundry, gotten groceries, and taken Zoe to story time at the library but let’s be honest, those days are few and far in between. Most days are a blur of dirty diapers, Uber Eats, and coffee refills. This is what parenting is. I remind myself that just because my house looks like Hurricane Sandy hit it doesn’t mean I did nothing. I kissed booboos. I wiped away tears. I tickled feet. I changed diapers. Every day my son wakes up healthy and happy is a good day and I’m responsible (at least in part) for that.
It also doesn’t help that on the days that my husband watches the baby alone he somehow manages to pick up groceries, cook a 3 course meal, do laundry, run the dishwasher, and tidy the apartment. I know what you’re thinking: wow father of the year! Not so fast, my son is mostly ignored and not cared for in the same manner that I would care for him. But still, my husband makes it all look effortless and easy. And not to mention he also inevitably makes me look bad in the process. I’m not judging my husband. We simply have different parenting styles. That’s why there is a mom and a dad.
I would much prefer a house that looks like a bomb went off than a neglected son. I want to be an active mother. A mother who plays with him. A mother who reads books to him. A mother who sings nursery rhymes to him. A mother who plays peekaboo with him. A mother who is present.
And when Zoe is older and all grown up I highly doubt he will look back at his childhood with disgust because the house wasn’t perfectly tidy. He will remember the cozy afternoons reading books. He will remember the lazy mornings helping his mom scramble eggs. He will remember the silly evenings playing music and dancing in the kitchen together. He will remember the magical moments where nothing else mattered in the world but him and his needs.
Now when I look at my growing to-do list I try not to get bothered by it. Those items can wait. That list is not a priority. I can try to tackle the list again tomorrow. And if tomorrow comes and I haven’t made any headway then that’s okay too. The to-list can wait. What we all need is some self love and compassion. We need to stop beating ourselves up. We need to stop trying to be perfect. We need to stop passing judgement on ourselves. We need to release the societal pressure. We need to remind ourselves that we’re doing the best that we can. And our best is good enough.
I know only too well that one day soon Zoe will be in school and be consumed in after school actives such a soccer and tennis and I will have time that I won’t even know what to do with. I will be able to cook every meal from scratch, I will be able to sew his Halloween costume by hand, I will be able to keep the apartment tidy and pristine. One day soon I will miss these beautiful chaotic days. So please don’t wish these days away.
I may not have gotten to the laundry. I may not have cooked a solid meal. I may not have put away the toys. I may not have emptied out the diaper pail. I may not have even left the apartment. But what I did do is so much more important in the grand scheme of things. I rocked my son to sleep. I made sure my son was fed. I bathed my son. I made sure my son felt loved. I kept my son happy. I kept my son safe. And that is not nothing. In fact, it’s everything.
So we’ve been living in Brooklyn for a few months now and I am completely sold. Brooklyn is such a vibe. It’s like living on Sesame Street in the middle of a metropolis. Everyone is friendly and young. The landscape is a stark contrast to Manhattan where the buildings are mostly skyscrapers; the buildings here aren’t massive so you get good light which I love. We live in North Williamsburg and it’s quite safe; I’ve never felt scared or vulnerable (I’m also generally home by 8:00pm so not sure what goes on later on in the evenings lol). Also, the nearest subway stop to us (the Bedford Avenue station stop on the L train) is wheelchair accessible and has an elevator (meaning it’s stroller friendly).
My Brooklyn babe also loves his new neighborhood. As a mother of an energetic, active toddler being cooped up at home is torture so I’ve rounded up some activities to do in the area. The ones that have commentary are the classes that I have personally attended with Zoe.
If you don’t live under a rock you’ve probably already heard of Purposeful Play. Purposeful Play is THE class to enroll your mini in and certainly the local favorite (its definitely the most trendy/popular class around). It’s basically a right of passage into motherhood in Brooklyn. First, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: if you email the owner, Michelle Tiflinsky, you can do drop-ins which is amazing because a) I have commitment issues and b) what if my energetic son hates it? Turns out he didn’t – he actually ended up loving it and so I signed him up for the entire series but if you’re like me and are on the fence email Meesh.
Now let’s dive into the actual class. Michelle has cracked the code. She’s entertaining, fun, bubbly and just a pleasure to be around. Think Ms. Rachel vibes. I also recognized a lot of her songs from Ms. Rachel greatest hits soundtrack (don’t judge me – I have to use the screen on occasion to maintain my sanity). Michelle makes you feel like you’ve been best friends since kindergarten and treats your child like her own. She really is a lovely person. Also, Michelle is a pediatric occupation therapist so knows a thing or two about minis.
Brian is wonderful – with the use of his guitar, puppets, and sign language he is quite engaging – it’s no wonder families flock to his music classes! They’re very popular and I can certainly see why! When the going class rate in this neck of the woods is quite exorbitant, it’s refreshing to find a class that doesn’t break the bank. I also love that you can simply show up and not have to worry about registering in advance. He has multiple offerings at both McCarren Park and Sparsa. I’ve only attended McCarren Park so I can’t speak to the other venue but we’ve gone a few times and had a blast. And when class was over we let Zoe run around the park.
They encourage you to register but we never did and it was never a problem. Our first time was by chance, we were on our way to the swings when we stumbled right into Tot Time and they welcomed us with open arms. They have a lot of little activity areas: a sensory bin, shelves with books to read, paper and crayons, etc.. The first half is essentially free play and the second half is story time and songs. It’s all free which is excellent. Unfortunately this doesn’t continue past October due to weather. I would check back in the spring and see when it resumes because it’s a nice way to spend the morning.
Shana Frutcher is a local toddler mom and music enthusiast! She has a Master’s degree in Music Therapy and over 10 years of experience working with special needs children. You can find her classes at Sparsa, Space Club and pop-ups at both McCarren and McGolrick park. We’ve attended a few of her pop-up classes at McGolrick Park and it was quite special! My son, Zoe, is a huge fan of Shana’s! She brings her vibrant voice and plenty of fun props (scarves, rattles, bubbles, etc.) for entertainment. We have this tradition where we go to Shana’s pop-up class at McGolrick Park, then play at the playground, then grab some sweet treats at Peter Pan Donut and Pastry Shop – I can’t imagine a more perfect morning.
Canopy Play Space is the hottest, newest play space in town! It’s a members only club so think of it as the Soho House for kids. I visited the space for a tour and it did not disappoint! Canopy is nothing short of beautiful! I literally had to drag my son out when the tour was over and only narrowly avoided a tantrum with the use of lollipops and stickers. The owner, Rachel, is lovely and very welcoming! Although it’s a members only club, all non-members can take classes there so do check out their website. While I did love Canopy, we’re already members to Space and don’t use it as much as we should so I can’t justify another membership but if I had unlimited funds, we’d sign up yesterday.
So when I heard about A Rosie Day we were entering the fall and I didn’t want to commit for two reasons: 1) it’s a bit of a walk for me (we live right next to Marsha P Johnson Park and while I don’t mind the stroll my son will have a meltdown if he’s in the stroller for longer than 15 minutes and 2) as we’re entering the fall season it will inevitably get colder and colder and A Rosie Day is held outside at McCarren Park so that can get tricky depending on the weather. I instead chose to attend the pop-ups. So this class was quite different in nature than the other classes I have attended; it was a more open-ended approach. The other classes are a bit more formal and structured. While this is quite different I want to be clear that I by no way mean that in a bad way. I loved it and my son had the time of his life. I also think that some of the other structured classes are quite loud, rushed, and over stimulating so this was a nice change of pace. For the class we attended the instructor, Rose, had set up a bunch of different stations for the children to play at their own pace. She offered plenty of options including a painting station, sensory bins, water activities and much more. I will say I loved how she just allowed the children to use their imagination and wander around at their leisure. I would also like to mention that Rose is a peach – I adore her and her energy! We will certainly be back and I appreciate the pop-ups!
Let me start by saying the first class is free which I appreciated because these children’s classes really add up. Songs for Seeds was both interactive and fun! They hand out instruments to the children so everyone can get involved. They also incorporate numbers and learning which I found very clever. With songs such as ‘Uptown Girls’ and ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ even I found myself dancing like nobody’s watching! Another thing I really like about Songs for Seeds is you don’t have to commit to the entire semester, simply per month which I love because in this day and age momma needs flexibility.
This class is currently held at The Wild and I was excited to finally try a class at this establishment. The Wild is storefront that hosts classes in their back room. The classes all seem very nice and age appropriate for Zoe, however, The Wild is almost a mile from our home so getting there is a mission (I literally had to carry Zoe there and the only way I got him to sit in his stroller on the way back home was with lots of snacks and me singing ‘Baby Shark’ at the top of lungs). I immediately loved the concept of this class because 1) Zoe LOVES reading books, 2) the benefits of reading are profound: supported cognitive development, improved language skills, increased concentration, improved imagination, and the list goes on and 3) getting a spot at story time at the public library is akin to getting into the Hermes annual sample sale so this is certainly a great alternative. Zoe loved the class! Caroline has games, music and of course reading (Zoe was on the edge of his seat during the reading portion). We went on the Monday before Halloween and I loved how she infused the holiday spirit into the class. If you’re not yet sold, the price is also a bargain.
Space is truly spectacular. The attention to detail is impeccable. The owner and visionary, CJ Hendry, is an artist and if you’ve had the opportunity to check this spot out that will come as no surprise (think Chuck E. Cheese meets MoMA). Space is an indoor playground where you can bring your minis to run around; they also offer classes, however, those are for members only. We loved it so much we became a member and have already attended a few of their classes (music, beading, and art) which is a nice perk. The monthly membership isn’t cheap but it’s also not super expensive and they’re running a promotion for new members at the moment. Their big selling point is that Space is open 365 days a year. Yes, that is correct, 365 days including holidays! You know where I will be New Years Day lol. Also, they’re open 8am-7pm which is a welcome change from the other play spaces that typically open at 10am and close at 5pm (with even more reduced hours on weekends and holidays). My son absolutely loves this play space and the added bonus is he leaves completely wiped out and usually falls asleep in his stroller on our walk home. I can go on and on about Space but I will wrap it up with this: Space is very thoughtfully designed an example of which is the calming blue room with gigantic star shaped pillows (I even caught a mommy nursing her baby there which was such a beautiful sight to see).
I’ve heard great things about Jazz Baby Music and it did not disappoint. I signed us up for the class at Talea – the venue was nothing like I envisioned. I thought it would be a stale, dark and woodsy brewery with an industrial aesthetic however it was an open, bright, welcoming space and very toddler friendly. Mariella is the founder of Jazz Baby Music and she was terrific! She sang a range of music – everything from ‘L-O-V-E’ to ‘Wheels on the Bus.’ She passed out fun props such as scarves, shakers, tambourines and more. Mommy was able to sip her coffee and enjoy a pastry while Zoe was sufficiently entertained which was a lovely treat (no pun intended).
We attended the class at the Wild and it was a nice experience! Audra, an actress and singer, has been doing this for over 25 years so she’s no novice. She asked the parents and nannies to limit the use of their phone which I appreciated because some of these classes are filled with stage moms/stage nannies who just have their phone out the whole time recording what feels like every second. She sang a lot of songs that I’ve actually never heard but were catchy and cute enough! She did play ‘One Love’ by Bob Marley which was obviously the highlight of the class for me! Audra has been crowned by Time Out NY Kids the “Queen of the NY Kids Rock Scene” and has been featured on Nickelodeon & Sesame Street so I’d definitely check it out if you have any interest.
Friends of Phonics is a lovely class that incorporates singing, sensory play and of course reading. Zoe and I both loved this class – it was educational yet fun. Friends of Phonics is led by Alex Beviss who is a Literacy Specialist and former teacher. Each class focuses on a letter of the alphabet and that specific letter and sound is the theme of the entire class. The goal of the class is to introduce phonics and reading skills in a fun and engaging way and she certainly succeeded! We loved it so much we signed up for an entire package! Alex offers drop-ins (if there is availability) or you can simply buy a package (don’t worry the packages are only 4-7 classes which is quite manageable).
I’ve been dying to try this class because it’s so important to me that my son learns Spanish, however, I’ve hesitated because the times offered cut a little too close to Zoe’s nap. The Wriggle offered a free trial class so I jumped at the opportunity. The instructor, Karina Voces, uses the Montessori approach to her class by teaching phonetics, the alphabet, and sounds in a fun way (learning through play). Let me start with the pros: I loved that the class was entirely in Spanish! I had no clue what Karina was saying but it all appeared quite educational and instructional. Karina was lively and seemed to have more energy than some of the children! The class was quite interactive and she engaged with the children. I also liked that the class is for such a wide age range (6 months to 6 years) – I love being able to plan class playdates with friends whose children are much older or much younger than my son. Now I’ll dive in to the cons. Karina passed around instruments and when she collected them midway through the class my son broke down crying yet she insisted he hand it over. Just give the damn guitar to my son, Karen… I mean Karina. Why not just maintain the peace and retrieve the guitar at the end of class? I had to remove my son from the class multiple times because he was crying so hard. My other con is that the times the classes are offered are not ideal for a toddler’s schedule.
I’m not big on play spaces since we have a play room in our building and currently have a membership to Space in Greenpoint but I’m a sucker for these local kid classes and the Play Lab is running a class on Tuesday’s called ‘Science for Tots’ that I keep seeing on Instagram and figured I’d take Zoe. Zoe has been to the Play Lab quite a lot when daddy is on baby duty but never with me. Zoe was too excited by the play space to appreciate the science class; he literally lasted a total of 5 minutes (he’s not even 2 years old and already ditching class…). The Play Lab is fantastic – It’s like brunch and Barry’s Boot Camp for toddlers: kids run around the space and then end their visit in the little seating area in the front where they sit either at the table or in their high chairs to enjoy their snack/lunch before heading home for what most likely will be an excellent nap. I love the space – it’s tidy, clean, and cozy. We arrived at 9:15am for the class and by 10:30am it was packed but not overwhelmingly so. The Play Lab is a Montessori inspired play space with a cute little treehouse right in the center. It has everything from a mini market to a climbing wall. My son loved it so much that he had the meltdowns of all meltdowns when I tried to get him to leave. To be fair, he was overly tired, hungry and having the time of his life. He threw one of the biggest tantrums of his life and had people gawking. Two kind mommies came up to me to help – that’s how bad it was. By the end of his tantrum I was crying. It was quite embarrassing so next time I go I’ll have to wear sunglasses, a wig and go by a new name but I will certainly be back. My son passed out in the stroller on our walk home so that just goes to show how exhausted he was (stroller naps are rare these days). I think it’s interesting that they don’t offer monthly memberships – just day passes and annual passes.
So I was out of ideas for what to do for my son’s 2nd birthday and had narrowed it down to Space, the Play Lab or Twinkle (all of the play spaces in our neighborhood). His actual birthday fell on a Monday and I wanted it to be special and fun for him. Since we already have a membership to Space and he’s been to Play Lab quite a lot I decided to take him to Twinkle and I’m so happy I did! It’s similar to the other play spaces in design (slides, canopy walkways, etc) but it’s also different with some nice/unexpected twists. Zoe had a great time enjoying every aspect from the tree house to the life size fire truck to the water table vortex (pro tip: bring a change of clothes as Zoe got quite wet). Twinkle play space is the perfect blend of physical play, fantasy, and science! They offer different packages and we loved it so much we bought a package so we’ll be back soon!
Puppetsburg is truly fun for the whole family! Puppetsburg is a uniquely contemporary puppet show that is entertaining for infants, toddlers, and parents alike. They offered a free trial class and I was very happy to give it a try as I love testing out new classes with my son. I’m not sure who enjoyed it more, myself or Zoe. It was so well done! It’s mostly improv which is remarkable – the instructors basically riff for the entire class (the banter and dialogue is hilarious) while following a program of dancing, instruments, dress-up, and bubbles. What truly sets Puppetsburg apart from the other classes is how varied each class is. While the other local classes are pretty much the same week to week, Puppetsburg has over 50 different puppet stories. We will certainly be coming back!
I wasn’t going to post about this because it’s certainly not in line with the other establishments but I’m not one to gate keep so here goes… So you’ll first need to lower your standards to prepare yourself for the McCarren Tots Program. Have you lowered them? Okay lower them some more lol. The McCarren Tots Program is held at the McCarren Park Recreation Center and is a far contrast from the trendy, fancy classes I usually take Zoe to. But it’s convenient, indoors and with an unbeatable price of $50 for a 6 month membership. No, that is not a typo. $50 for SIX months. The Tots Program has open play every weekday from 9am-11:30am in a large space that reminds me of my high school gym – it’s a big basketball court that they have repurposed into a gym area for the children complete with a kids basketball hoop, cones, hula-hoops, and foam climbers. Sometimes they have additional activities such as a story time or a coloring session where they provide paper and crayons. It’s not the most structured or organized but you get what you pay for. Zoe loved the big open space to run around and we plan to go weekly during the cold winter months when we simply need an indoor activity to fill our morning. The program is designed for children from 1-5 years old but I would recommend it for walkers (I’m not sure where you would put the crawlers). They’re currently running soccer and painting classes in the afternoons and weekends but those have an expiration date and not sure if they will extend them or introduce new classes. Now let’s be honest, the classes in the area can be quite costly – that’s why I love to balance them with something such as this Tots Program. Honestly, in this neighborhood it’s GREAT value!
So I tried to do story time and was unfortunately turned away because it was full. I got there at 10:15am for the 10:30am class and all 18 spots were already taken plus they had a waitlist going so definitely go early. To be honest I have a bone to pick with the library because I don’t mind getting there early and waiting but what toddler is going to put up with that? They really need to find a more systematic approach – I know other libraries do a sign in online, it is the 21st century after all but you wouldn’t know it based on their archaic approach to signing up.
Please feel free to give my Instagram account a follow! I host coffee meet-ups and other local events that are fun and free such as ‘Tarot and Tie-Dye’ and ‘Bubbles and Leather.’ Also, drop your email and subscribe so you don’t miss out on any upcoming events!
Feel free to check these places out! My frustration with some of the establishments here is that they don’t offer drop-ins. This isn’t tuition, I don’t have the emotional capacity to commit to 15 sessions at this point in my life. So hopefully the establishments will adapt for the modern family and let you pay per class.
I feel so very fortunate to have so many activities available for my son to enjoy. We attend about 3 classes per week. When we’re not in classes, we’re at one of the many beautiful parks in the area or on a play date with a local mommy and/or daddy.
Feel free to message me directly if you have any questions about particular classes or play spaces – I love discussing this topic!
If you’re considering moving to Williamsburg I highly recommend it. It’s a microcosm where I feel like I’m living in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood!
Three months into my maternity leave I was told by my boss that my job was being eliminated due to an internal restructuring. I didn’t see it coming. I thought my boss had scheduled the meeting to discuss my return to the office. I was completely blindsided. I was shocked, angry, upset, embarrassed, and frustrated. But if I was being honest with myself I also felt a tiny sense of relief. I was already dreading returning to work. We didn’t have family nearby so I would have had to either put Zoe in day care or hire a full time nanny. I couldn’t imagine leaving Zoe with total stranger especially when he was so little. I couldn’t fathom balancing work (which at times consisted of 80 hour work weeks) and motherhood.
Conversely, I liked the idea of having my own money. My father was the breadwinner and sole provider and I saw how imbalanced my parents relationship was. It’s like the old saying goes: nothing is free; you pay for it somehow. In my parents case, I watched my dad make all the important decisions and my mother have very little say. Where are we spending our summer holiday? What neighborhood are we moving to? What house are we going to live in? Sadly my mother had very little input. I didn’t want that for myself.
I also wanted my own money. I want to be able to walk into Chanel and buy a purse (or a few) and not have anyone questioning my financial decisions. Maybe its because I’ve been so fiercely independent all my life. I just knew that having a ‘side hustle’ as the kids call it would be good for me. Being a stay-at-home mom would still be my main ‘job’ and priority but I’d like to have something else I was working towards.
Also, what if things don’t work out between myself and Zoe’s father? Wouldn’t it be imprudent of me to not have any income source? Wouldn’t I be doing my son (and myself) a disservice by becoming 100% dependent on his father? I hate to think this way but the realities of marriage are grim: approximately 50% of all marriages end up in divorce or separation. I need to think of Zoe and what is best for him. It’s no longer just me. I have a son that I need to think about. He comes first.
Additionally, I wanted something to call my own. Since my group of girl friends became mothers a few became stay-at-home moms, however, most pivoted in their careers: one became a real estate agent, one started her own interior decorating firm, and one started a recruiting agency. I so desperately wanted my own purpose outside of being a mommy but what??!?! My options felt limited. Should I sell pictures of my toes (kidding… kind of)? Start an OnlyFans page (definitely kidding)? Should I start an Amazon business? Trade crypto? Become a day trader? Maybe I should find an easy 9-5 job? I suppose I could give up Wall Street for the warm embrace of a government job?
After racking my brain for months and months I decided to start this blog. I liked the autonomy and flexibility. I could write whenever I had pockets of free time during the day. I liked that I didn’t have a boss to report to. I had the space to create when my schedule allowed. If we went on vacation or my son got sick I could simply skip a few days or even weeks and pick up right where I left off. I also loved the opportunity to be creative. I’m a Pisces and have always considered myself a creative creature. I’ve always loved writing and journaling has been something I’ve done for years. I figured if my blog failed as a business then at least it would be a creative outlet for me.
I also liked the idea of helping others. Motherhood can be a bumpy ride and I wanted to be there for other mommy’s. I certainly found the transition into motherhood quite daunting and I wish I had known that I wasn’t alone. They say it takes a village to raise a child but not everyone has a village. Not everyone has a strong support system. Not everyone has friends/family to lean on. I want to be an extension of your village. I want you to be able to lean on me and come to me when you need some advice or a good laugh. I want to be your go-to virtual mommy friend. I truly mean that. Please feel free to contact me via email or DM. I’m here for you!
Once I started blogging I immediately loved it. It became quite cathartic. I spent all my free time (which was limited since I was chasing after an energetic 1 year old all day long) brainstorming and writing. Every evening I would put my son to sleep and then race to my desk and either write in my journal or type on my laptop (depending on my mood). This blog was my passion project and I went all in. I’m not sure what will become of it or how it will evolve but for now I’m enjoying the ride and grateful for my readers! So thank you for reading and thank you for your support! I appreciate you! You make this possible for me!
If you can relate to this story, I’m sorry that you had to go through this but trust that something better is in store for you! I would not have been happy working 80 hour work weeks and being away from my son. I would not have been happy missing out on family activities because I had a deadline. I would not have enjoyed missing bed time because of a pressing deliverable.
I plan to write a step by step guide on how to actually create a blog and do a deep dive into the logistics and finances behind it. Please let me know if that is something that you’d be interested in!
