This Mother’s Day, step away from the crusty sippy cups and half-eaten granola bars. Wagamama has entered the chat — and they’re coming in hot with a prix fixe menu that’s basically a love letter to moms who are tired of eating whatever their toddler didn’t finish.

We’re talking flavor-packed dishes, spicy noodles (just like our personalities), and cocktails that don’t come in a juice box. Whether you’re celebrating with your little ones, flying solo for a well-earned lunch, or letting someone else foot the bill for once (hint hint, partners), this menu is the kind of self-care we can get behind.

When I worked in Midtown, we would often eat at Wagamama, and I always ordered the Chicken Firecracker — it’s simply delicious. So when I heard about their Mother’s Day menu (check it out here: https://wagamama.us/mothers-day), I knew I had to try it. It’s a bargain: you get an app (which they call “Pick a Share”), a main, and a dessert — all for $38. Here’s a quick run-down of what we ordered:

• For the “Pick a Share,” I went with the Crispy Rice Ahi — and I absolutely loved it.
• For my main, I had the Chicken Gyoza Ramen — hearty, flavorful, and pure comfort in a bowl.
• For dessert, I couldn’t resist the Banana Katsu — such a fun and delicious twist on a classic.

My mother, who was visiting, ordered:

• The Bang Bang Cauliflower for her “Pick a Share” — because honestly, who doesn’t love fried vegetables?
• The Spicy Salmon Teriyaki for her main — she loved every bite.
• And the Lemon Tart for dessert — light, delicate, and the perfect sweet finish.

For my son, we ordered the Mini Chicken Ramen — which wasn’t so mini! My picky eater devoured it. We all left so happy and full. Pro tip: don’t sleep on their juices. I ordered the Power Juice and it was incredible — fresh, vibrant, and packed with flavor.

Our recommendation? Go with friends, order one of everything, and post a photo that screams “my child is at home with a sitter and I am thriving.”

Wagamama, we see you. And we’ll be seeing you again… probably next weekend too.

This post is sponsored by Wagamama. All opinions are my own — and trust me, the Power juice was really that good!

If you live in Williamsburg or Greenpoint, you already know that finding quality child care is a nightmare. Some parents I know have to schlep their kids to Manhattan daily because the options here are so limited. And even if you do find a great spot, good luck getting in. There’s the application, the interview, the never-ending waitlist—it’s probably easier to get into the CIA. Trust me, I would know. There’s a certain Forest School (you know the one) that I emailed five times last year, only to be completely ghosted. But I digress.

If you’re currently on the hunt for quality child care, I have good news: A brand-new option is opening in Williamsburg on March 31st. It’s called birdhouse, and it just might be a game-changer.

I sat down with Sydney Bennett, a founder of birdhouse, and Chazz Lewis, their Head of Education, to learn more. You might already know Chazz (aka Mr. Chazz on social)—he has nearly a million followers on Instagram and over 1.5 million across platforms!

What sets Birdhouse apart from other child care establishments? 

We’re really a completely new kind of child care and early learning center, built for the way families actually live. We transform single-family homes into beautiful, intimate learning environments where children grow through play, exploration, and meaningful connection. Our home-based model allows us to attract the best of the best early educators. Walking into our center, you’ll see that learning isn’t just structured—it’s felt. It’s in the way we greet each other in the morning, in the songs we sing together, in the way a child’s hands press into the earth during outdoor play. It happens in belonging and in community.

Do the children get outdoor time? If so, where?

Yes! Our center has a private backyard where children engage with nature daily, rain or shine. Outdoor time is an opportunity to develop key life skills like nurturing and caretaking. Whether tending to plants, observing insects, or working together to build outdoor structures.

One of the reasons we were drawn to the home-based model is the ability to customize and extend learning beyond a single day. Unlike traditional centers where projects must be cleaned up and reset, our backyard allows children to build upon their work over time, deepening their understanding and creativity.

We also believe it’s essential for children to be immersed in the sounds and rhythms of their local community – listening to birds, feeling the wind, and noticing the daily patterns of their neighborhood.

Is there natural light in the space?

Yes, our space is loft-style, designed with large windows at both the front and back, ensuring abundant natural light throughout the center.

What are the teachers’ qualifications and your approach to education?

Our teachers come from all kinds of backgrounds—some have run their own child care programs, others have trained in Reggio Emilia, Montessori, Waldorf, or Forest School. Our program is inspired by Reggio-Emilia, promoting cognitive and physical development, and Conscious Discipline, promoting Social Emotional Learning. Mr. Chazz, is a nationally recognized educator and one of the few early childhood leaders in NY that is deeply trained in Conscious Discipline (CD), which is all about helping kids learn the foundations to learning : emotional regulation, communication, and problem-solving!

We take an active role in balancing learning with life skills. Kids should leave each day not just knowing their letters and numbers, but also how to express their feelings, navigate friendships, and feel confident in who they are!!

Are there accommodations for special needs?

Yes! While we take this on a case-by-case basis, our guiding belief is that learning differences aren’t disruptions—they’re opportunities to build a more compassionate, inclusive community. Our small-group model allows us to be more flexible in how we support children, and as birdhouse grows, we see an opportunity to create spaces designed for specific cohorts of needs.

As the older sister of an autistic sibling, I saw firsthand how traditional education failed to meet her needs. I didn’t understand why school couldn’t be a place where she felt seen and supported. At birdhouse, we’re building the kind of learning environment I wish she had; where support isn’t an afterthought, but a natural part of how we care for one another.

Will parents receive updates (photos/videos) throughout the day?

Yes, we DEEPLY believe in the power of a symbiotic relationship between parents and teachers. Through the Playground app, we provide real-time updates, photos, and videos, ensuring transparency and enabling/encouraging parents to extend classroom learnings into the home environment.

What’s the daily schedule like?

Our daily rhythm is designed to feel flexible and open-ended, with some structure. Each month, we focus on one of Conscious Discipline’s 12 essential skills—things like empathy, composure, or problem-solving—infusing that theme into our interactions, activities, and classroom rituals.

• Morning Greeting Ritual: We have a special morning ritual to welcome kids into the space (like a high-five, a dance, or a greeting of their choice) to foster a felt sense of safety, connection, and belonging.
• Circle Time: Group activities such as music, storytelling, idea sharing, or baby-doll circle time. This builds self-awareness, listening skills, and turn-taking, while also introducing literacy and early math concepts (like counting, patterns, and sequencing).
• Exploration and Open Ended Play: Child-led, project-based learning that changes depending on the day and interests of the child. They might be designing structures with loose parts materials, mixing colors in an art experiment, or engaging in imaginative play
• Outdoor Play: Time in our private backyard, where children strengthen their motor skills, engage in nature-based learning, and develop spatial awareness. We incorporate counting, measuring, and observation into outdoor exploration
• Family-Style Meals: Mealtime is a learning moment, too. We sit together, serve one another, and talk about our day, reinforcing social skills, practical life skills, and early math concepts. Our meals are provided by Rainbow Kitchen, a local catering company specializing in fresh, nutritious meals tailored for early childhood.
• Quiet Time: Providing rest or nap periods for those who need it, ensuring individual needs are met.
• Innovative Learning: Loose parts, hands-on projects, and open-ended exploration encourage children to design, experiment, and create.
• Reunion Ritual – We close our day with a moment of reflection and connection.

What types of lessons and activities do you offer?

We believe play is a child’s first language and the most effective way to learn both life and academic skills. Our classroom activities include songs, creative projects, exploration through ongoing projects, puppet shows, imaginative play, and family-style meals where children are encouraged to serve, help clean up, and enjoy the ritual together.

What ages do you accept?

We welcome children aged 2 to 5 years.. Our mixed-age classroom model offers numerous benefits, including enhanced social skills, leadership development, and individualized learning experiences. Younger children learn from observing and interacting with older peers, while older children reinforce their knowledge by mentoring younger classmates. We ensure a layered curriculum to support the varying developmental needs.

What are the hours of operation?

We operate Monday to Friday, from 8 AM to 6 PM.

What safety measures are in place?

Our small and intimate facility is designed with child safety in mind, and our teachers are trained in first aid and emergency protocols.

Do you provide meals and snacks?

Yes, we provide morning snacks, a nutritious lunch, and afternoon snacks, all prepared by Rainbow Kitchens with fresh, wholesome ingredients.

How can families enroll or learn more?

Families interested in enrolling can visit our website at flybirdhouse.com or contact us directly at [email protected]. ENROLLMENT IS OPEN FOR THE FOLLOWING:

April, May, and June: Monthly sessions—families can sign up for one month or multiple.

Summer (July & August): A separate summer session, perfect for continuity or trying birdhouse before the school year.

Fall (September): The start of our new enrollment year for families looking for a full-year experience.

How much does birdhouse cost?

We offer 2, 3, and 5-day care options depending on the session, with monthly rates ranging from $2,070 to $3,450, inclusive of meals (two snacks and one lunch).

If I were you, I’d act fast. Run, don’t walk to learn more because birdhouse is only accepting 12 spots, and they’re going to fill up fast. Quality child care in Williamsburg is already scarce, and with an approach this thoughtful, it’s no surprise there’s so much buzz around birdhouse. Whether you’re looking for a nurturing space that feels like an extension of home or a program that prioritizes social-emotional growth alongside academics, this is an opportunity worth exploring. Visit flybirdhouse.com or email [email protected] to schedule a tour before it’s too late!

This post is sponsored, but all opinions are my own.

New York City is getting me down. The reasons I used to love this city are now reasons I’m starting to despise it. The energy of the city which once made me feel so young and alive now fills me with anxiety and dread. The people here that once inspired me now fill me with impatience. My familiar stomping grounds now elicit indifference. What I took as conveniences now feel burdensome. This city that once felt magical now feels quite exhausting. 

I can’t quite pinpoint when this happened but it’s been a gradual evolution as I’ve stepped into the role of motherhood. Everything is simply exponentially harder. Should I move to a new neighborhood? Should I buy a car? Do I simply need a bigger space? Or is it time for me move out completely? How do you know when it’s time to move out of NYC??!

Before I had my son, NYC felt truly magical. I loved it here. I loved everything about the city. I truly felt that NYC was the best city in the world. I felt like anything was possible. You never knew who you were going to meet or where the night would take you. At any given moment your life could completely change. I can’t imagine spending my 20’s anywhere else. Partying. Dating. Hustling. Life was an endless adventure. From weekends partying in the Hamptons to nights dancing on tables at Simyone Lounge (what we regulars called SL) – I lived it up. 

Once I had retired as a party girl I focused my energy on my career. I got my Masters. I then conquered the CPA. I worked my way up from a Staff Accountant to a Controller. Years of grinding away finally paid off. I was financially stable and had settled into a happy relationship where we enjoyed nice dinners and the occasional trips to the ballet or a broadway show. 

Then Zoe came along and everything changed. Life has become so hard. Just getting around town is difficult. The busses are so unreliable. Subways are not only dangerous but mostly impossible to navigate as most don’t even have elevators. Taxis are out out of the question. You try getting into a yellow cab with a baby, car seat, diaper bag, and purse. And forget about Uber Carseat, it’s easier to get a reservation at the Polo Bar than it is to get an Uber with a carseat.

I used to love the seasons in NYC. Growing up in Southern California with temperature staying pretty constant made me appreciate NYC. However, the cold is simply not fun with a baby. You try wrestling with a screaming 1 year to get him into a North Face bodysuit. Forget about the balaclava – you’d think I was skinning him alive the way he screams. And who wants to put on 20 layers just to grab a cup of coffee and a bagel. Not me. Certainly not Zoe. 

I also can’t help but notice how dirty the city has become. Maybe it was always this dirty and I was seeing the city though rose colored glasses? Or maybe the city has gotten more and more dirty over time? All I know is that everywhere I turn there is a rat, mouse, or a roach or all three. 

Even the museums are overrated. I know, I must sound like a snob but hear me out. I recently went to a museum which I thought would be the perfect educational activity for Zoe. I had planned the whole afternoon around this trip only to find out once I arrived that I had to check in my stroller. And of course, I didn’t bring the carrier. You try carrying a 30 pound baby for an hour. I’m not sure if this is a normal protocol but I went to a few museums in Milan this past winter and had no problem taking the stroller everywhere. 

Also the people here are simply a different breed. I used to love the people. I loved their hustle. I loved their drive. I loved their ambition. The only thing I’m ambitious about lately is getting to bed early. I used to really get the New York busyness. But that was the old me: the go-getter Jules. The new mommy Jules just can’t relate. I no longer have that desire to climb the corporate ladder. The only ladders I see myself climbing in the future are those at the jungle gym.

I can’t help but wonder how much my life would improve moving elsewhere. Am I ready? Is it time? Will I regret it? Will I get bored? The grass isn’t always greener. And where would I move to? Long Island? Westchester? Connecticut? New Jersey? We have about 8 more months on our lease but I need to think long and hard now where I want to be in the future. 

Maybe it’s time for me to leave the Northeast completely. My parents now live in Florida and I can feel it in my bones that I will end up there eventually. Has that time come? I’d love more space. I’d love living close to the beach. I’d love being close to my parents. I’d love having access to good public schools. All of the quintessential benefits of moving out of New York City are quite alluring. 

Also, how am I going to convince my husband? He hasn’t had the same struggles that I’ve dealt with this past year. The stress. The challenges. The loneliness. The few times I’ve approached the topic he seems to think NYC is the best place in the world to raise a family. Maybe we can live bicoastal? We could get a house in South Florida and keep a pied-à-terre in NYC. That would be a win-win for everyone. 

What it really boils down to is what is best for Zoe? And what is best for me as his mommy? Where can I be the best version of myself? Where will I be the happiest mommy? Where do I see us growing as a family? Where will we thrive as a family? NYC does’t feel like the answer to any of those questions…

Does anyone even remember the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign or did I just age myself with the title of this blog post? For those of you who are too young to recall the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign I swear I’m a cool mom! Anyway, let’s dive right into today’s topic: breastfeeding. Or should I say nursing? I’m not sure why I prefer saying nursing over breastfeeding but I do. I think the term ‘breastfeeding’ is just too graphic for me. But I digress. 

Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart. My journey with breastfeeding has been long, beautiful, challenging, painful, and rewarding. When I was pregnant with Zoe I told myself that I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to breastfeed, I was already getting enough pressure from family/friends/society. But of course once my little munchkin arrived I was hellbent on nursing. I had absolutely no clue what I was even doing. I hadn’t done any research, read any books, or watched any educational videos. I hadn’t planned to wing it but Zoe came early and I was not prepared. Lucky for me Zoe was a little pro and showed me how it was done. He expertly latched on straight out of the womb and the rest was history. I remember the nurses coming by and congratulating me and I felt like a total fraud – I didn’t deserve any credit, Zoe did.

What I also remember was the immediate pain. No one warned me about the pain. How my nipples would feel raw and sensitive from the sucking. How my boobs would feel engorged if I didn’t express the milk. How my nipples would bleed if Zoe sucked too hard. Luckily the hospital I delivered at provided nipple cream; the cream and ice gave me relief in between feedings. 

I had planned to stock up on infant formula at home in the event I couldn’t produce milk (which I highly recommend) but Zoe came over 3 weeks before his due date and I never got around to researching and ordering it. Fortunately for me I was able to produce milk. However, that doesn’t mean my breastfeeding journey was easy. From chapped nipples to mastitis, it was far from easy.

Ironically, just as I felt pressure to breastfeed, I’m now feeling pressure to stop. Zoe is now 25 months old and friends and family alike are gently questioning why I’m still nursing. I honestly don’t even know why I’m still committed to it. Partly because I don’t have the capacity to end it. I know there will be a lot of sleepless nights involving tears and tantrums when I deny Zoe of his beloved ‘milky’ and I’m just not ready for that. I simply don’t have the energy. I also appreciate the bond that I have with Zoe. It’s our special little time together. I’m not ready to let that go. What if I don’t have more children? Or what if I have another child and I’m unable to produce milk? I’m just not ready to give that up. Not to mention it’s a bulletproof weight loss program. It’s certainly better than any diet I’ve ever tried (and I’ve tried them all from Keto to Paleo). I can eat my little heart out (trust me, I have tested this theory) and still watch my waist shrink. I can finally skip Barry’s Bootcamp without the added guilt. Not that I would have time for a scheduled workout class anyway – those little luxuries are a thing of the past (at least for now until I can get my life in order). The extent of my cardio these days are chasing my son down the aisles of the local library (he’s become a flight risk). 

I’m proud of myself for sticking to it. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve been to the urgent care twice and hospitalized once all from mastitis yet here I am soldering on. Each time I sought medical help they had to give me multiple IV packs. Nursing is quite literally depleting.

I’m trying to not let societal pressures dictate what I do. 10 years from now I’m sure I won’t look back and think ‘I wish I hadn’t nursed Zoe for so long.’ But I’m sure had I given up early in my breastfeeding journey, I’d certainly think to myself ‘I wish I hadn’t dropped nursing at 2 months’…

My pregnant friend recently asked for advice on breastfeeding. She’s terrified she won’t be able to produce milk. But the reality is only 5-10% of women can’t produce milk. So don’t be deterred if you’re goal is to breastfeed. If you think about breastfeeding in terms of mammals, I’ve never heard of a specie going extinct because of their inability to produce milk. 

After all isn’t nursing the most natural thing? Although at times it can certainly feel unnatural. In the beginning when visitors came over to meet Zoe and he would cry they would immediately hand him over to me saying ‘oh he’s hungry.’ I distinctly recall feeling like a wet nurse or a cow (or both). I also remember feeling so awkward and nervous those first few months when I had to breastfeed in public. I’d try hide it as much as possible. I would step out during parties with friends or events with family and what I realized is that I was simply missing out on so many moments so I decided to just nurse in public and what I noticed is no one really cares.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to achieve in this blog post – usually I have a goal in mind but today I just needed to vent a little. If anything I hope I encouraged you to embark or continue on your breastfeeding journey! Thank you for listening and if you’re breastfeeding I recognize how hard it is: latch issues, inverted nipples, tongue ties, self doubt, etc. You are doing great! You’re strong! You’re resilient! You’re powerful! 

Below are items that I found useful for nursing:

• Electric breast pump – I choose the Spectra S1 Plus Pump because I heard it wasn’t painful to use and it has a rechargeable battery so you can pump almost anywhere (I know someone who pumped in the car on her way to/from work but I won’t name names). I got most of the pump subsidized by my medical insurance so check with your insurance before purchasing!

• Manual pump and milk collector – the Haaka Pump and Ladybug Milk Collectors are essential for breastfeeding (I ordered 2 of each). The Haaka pump is a manual pump. The ladybugs are useful milk collectors. Also these products are BPA, PVC and phthalate-free

• Nipple Cream – I used the Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream for no other reason than it was what the hospital provided and it seemed to be sufficient so I continued to purchase that particular brand

• Breast Milk Storage Bags – there are so many of these breast milk storage bags on the market. While this is a fairly inexpensive purchase I would still do research as some reviews I read had leakage issues and the last thing you want is losing precious drops of milk (you’ll be saving every drop as if it was holy water). I purchased the Medela Breast Milk Storage Bags (6oz) and had no issues

• Bottles – we ordered a bunch of different bottles but the ones that worked best for us was the Medela Slow Flow (something else that you will learn is that bottle tips vary in the strength of the flow of the milk)

• Drying rack – we got the Boon Grass Countertop Drying Rack for bottles (can also be used for baby plates, baby utensils, Haakas, pacifiers, teeters, etc.)

• Feeding pillow – we were gifted the Boppy Feeding Pillow and I’m grateful I was gifted it because it’s not something I would have bought but now that I have it I can’t live without it. You can use it when nursing or bottle feeding. It can also double as a tummy time for your little one. I must say it’s a genius invention and really useful

• Formula – in case you either can’t or choose not to breastfeed

Below are resources for mommies who are nursing:

• La Leche League – this is an online community of mothers all committed to breastfeeding. They meet virtually which is very convenient! Feel free to come prepared with questions as they offer information, support and encouragement 

• Lactaction consultant – most insurance companies cover lactation consultants. I met with a lactation consultant a few times and found them very useful

• Friends and family – I was lucky enough to have both friends and family that supported my breastfeeding journey and answered all my questions no matter how embarrassing they were

I’m done with decisions. If I have to make one more decision my head is going to explode. I swear I’m going to lose my mind. Since Zoe was born I’ve had to make what feels like endless decisions. From diapers to bottles to wipes to laundry detergent to shampoo. Actually, the decision making started when I got pregnant. From selecting the right hospital to choosing the right doctor, it has felt like I’m riding a never-ending decision train. 

It’s quite exhausting and every decision feels like to carries so much weight. Every decision feels so crucial. What if I buy the sunscreen with benzene? What if I buy the oatmeal with heavy metals? What if I buy the toothpaste with fluoride? Sadly a lot of brands that purport to be ‘clean’ are far from it so I need to research EVERYTHING. 

Some decisions are bigger than others, such as finding the right pediatrician or hiring a part-time nanny. These are the decisions I do not take lightly. They directly impact the health, happiness and wellbeing of my son. 

Other decisions are by nature not as colossal, for example choosing swaddles or burp clothes. But even these require some research. After doing some online reading I found out that the clothing industry is notoriously toxic. With the addition of dyes, formaldehyde, flame retardants, and pesticides it became clear that even clothing was something I had to scrutinize before buying (which is why I try to purchase exclusively 100% certified organic for Zoe, when possible).

I resent my husband for not helping but I also can’t imagine any husband that is taking this on. Why does this all fall on us mommies? We already do so much. I’m sure most mommies can relate. The burden is too much for us. This is the invisible labor that is my burden and my burden alone. While my husband is drifting off to sleep, I’m still scrolling for a BPA free, dishwasher safe, non-toxic teether for my little tot. I’ve never wanted to divorce him more. How could he possibly sleep when we have a laundry list of things that we need to get for Zoe?

I’ve been agonizing over every decision as if I was selecting his future college. The weight of the decisions takes a toll. Choosing a color for my nails at my last pedicure felt like a chore. I’m sick of making decisions. 

I wonder if every mother goes through these motions. Does every mother feel this way? The pressure to make the right decision otherwise the entire future trajectory of Zoe’s life will forever change? 

What neighborhood will we raise Zoe? Upper West Side? Tribeca? West Village? Or will we venture deeper into Brooklyn? Or perhaps we will migrate further out to Westchester or Long Island. Or will we leave NY altogether? Maybe Jersey or Connecticut? Maybe the east coast isn’t the best upbringing for Zoe. I’ve always wanted to move to Florida but is that what is best for Zoe?

Where will Zoe go for school? Public? Private? I went to public school but my husband went to private school. What is best for Zoe? What is best for our family? We also don’t have unlimited money so we need to look at our finances and budget accordingly.

The decisions my husband and I make now will affect my son for the rest of his life. That feels heavy. That stakes are high. I just want to do the right thing for him. I want to give him all the things I never had. I want him to live a full life. I want him to reflect on his childhood with only happy and fond memories. 

I miss the days when the toughest decision I had to make was where I was going to be able to snag a reservation for dinner. 

If you’re feeling like me and are completely overwhelmed with all of the decisions we as mommies have to make then let me remind you that you’re not alone. I feel for you. I hear you. I’m right there with you sister. 

I’ve compiled a list of ways to make our life a tiny bit easier:

• Apps – there are apps that you can download and then take a picture of the barcode of the item you are looking into and they either rate it or give you a grade of the item plus an explanation. One that I particularly like for food and personal care is Yuka

• Friends/family – what I have started to do is lean on like-minded friends and family. I have friends/family that are exactly like me and want the very best for their children

• Blogs – there are blogs that do the dirty work for you so you can sit back, grab a snack and simply put items directly into your cart knowing they’ve been vetted… hint hint The Mommy Archives!

• Delegate – sometimes you just need to ask for help. My husband is great at electronics so I asked him to find the best baby monitor and nanny cameras for us. My father is great with cars so I asked him to look into a new car for me as taking the subway with a toddler plus stroller plus diaper bag has become impossible and I’m sick of relying on taxis/Uber/Lyft

• Facebook Groups – I know what you’re thinking, people still use Facebook? The answer is surprisingly yes. There are some really fantastic mommy groups on Facebook that have a plethora of information. And if you don’t see what you’re looking for, feel free to post on the group and women from all over will jump in to help. Don’t worry, you can post annonomously if you’d like. I’m in a few local Mommy Groups and my most recent post was trying to secure a venue for Zoe’s first birthday. They mommies came through and found me a convenient and affordable establishment

Whatever you can do to take the load off yourself will payoff. You certainly can’t do this alone! It will get easier, I promise! 

When I first had Zoe I remember thinking to myself day after day that I did nothing today. I would end each day scanning though my to-do list only to realize that not only did I not cross anything off but I had somehow managed to add to it. My to-do list was growing and so were my anxieties. I would feel guilty for not being more ‘productive.’ What is our society’s obsession with productivity anyway? Why does productivity need to be measured in accomplishments? Maybe we’re measuring productivity all wrong. Or maybe we need to release our focus on productivity as a sign of a successful day. 

That’s actually the one thing I miss about my life in corporate America. I miss that feeling of accomplishment and having something to show for a days hard work. Most days as a stay-at-home-mom you have nothing to show for your day yet it was far from easy and far from slow. Most days are busy and active (and sometimes even chaotic).

There are days where I find myself dreading the inevitable question from my husband when he gets home from work: what did you guys do today? Or the follow up question: did you guys leave the apartment today? I mean what’s with the third degree. I don’t need an interrogation. I want to reply: what are you, a cop? But I don’t. I take a few deep breaths and plaster a smile on my face. I know my husband doesn’t mean any harm by his questions but I can’t help but get defensive. I know my husband is genuinely curious and not trying to make me feel bad but I feel shame and guilt nonetheless. Does anyone else find these questions triggering?

And most days when asked what we did I can’t help but feel embarrassed. Some days we have nothing to show for it. Some days I haven’t even gotten dressed. Some days I haven’t even washed my face. Some days I haven’t even brushed my teeth. Some days I haven’t even eaten a solid meal. Sure there are the days when the stars align and I have done the laundry, gotten groceries, and taken Zoe to story time at the library but let’s be honest, those days are few and far in between. Most days are a blur of dirty diapers, Uber Eats, and coffee refills. This is what parenting is. I remind myself that just because my house looks like Hurricane Sandy hit it doesn’t mean I did nothing. I kissed booboos. I wiped away tears. I tickled feet. I changed diapers. Every day my son wakes up healthy and happy is a good day and I’m responsible (at least in part) for that. 

It also doesn’t help that on the days that my husband watches the baby alone he somehow manages to pick up groceries, cook a 3 course meal, do laundry, run the dishwasher, and tidy the apartment. I know what you’re thinking: wow father of the year! Not so fast, my son is mostly ignored and not cared for in the same manner that I would care for him. But still, my husband makes it all look effortless and easy. And not to mention he also inevitably makes me look bad in the process. I’m not judging my husband. We simply have different parenting styles. That’s why there is a mom and a dad. 

I would much prefer a house that looks like a bomb went off than a neglected son. I want to be an active mother. A mother who plays with him. A mother who reads books to him. A mother who sings nursery rhymes to him. A mother who plays peekaboo with him. A mother who is present. 

And when Zoe is older and all grown up I highly doubt he will look back at his childhood with disgust because the house wasn’t perfectly tidy. He will remember the cozy afternoons reading books. He will remember the lazy mornings helping his mom scramble eggs. He will remember the silly evenings playing music and dancing in the kitchen together. He will remember the magical moments where nothing else mattered in the world but him and his needs. 

Now when I look at my growing to-do list I try not to get bothered by it. Those items can wait. That list is not a priority. I can try to tackle the list again tomorrow. And if tomorrow comes and I haven’t made any headway then that’s okay too. The to-list can wait. What we all need is some self love and compassion. We need to stop beating ourselves up. We need to stop trying to be perfect. We need to stop passing judgement on ourselves. We need to release the societal pressure. We need to remind ourselves that we’re doing the best that we can. And our best is good enough.

I know only too well that one day soon Zoe will be in school and be consumed in after school actives such a soccer and tennis and I will have time that I won’t even know what to do with. I will be able to cook every meal from scratch, I will be able to sew his Halloween costume by hand, I will be able to keep the apartment tidy and pristine. One day soon I will miss these beautiful chaotic days. So please don’t wish these days away. 

I may not have gotten to the laundry. I may not have cooked a solid meal. I may not have put away the toys. I may not have emptied out the diaper pail. I may not have even left the apartment. But what I did do is so much more important in the grand scheme of things. I rocked my son to sleep. I made sure my son was fed. I bathed my son. I made sure my son felt loved. I kept my son happy. I kept my son safe. And that is not nothing. In fact, it’s everything.

Three months into my maternity leave I was told by my boss that my job was being eliminated due to an internal restructuring. I didn’t see it coming. I thought my boss had scheduled the meeting to discuss my return to the office. I was completely blindsided. I was shocked, angry, upset, embarrassed, and frustrated. But if I was being honest with myself I also felt a tiny sense of relief. I was already dreading returning to work. We didn’t have family nearby so I would have had to either put Zoe in day care or hire a full time nanny. I couldn’t imagine leaving Zoe with total stranger especially when he was so little. I couldn’t fathom balancing work (which at times consisted of 80 hour work weeks) and motherhood.

Conversely, I liked the idea of having my own money. My father was the breadwinner and sole provider and I saw how imbalanced my parents relationship was. It’s like the old saying goes: nothing is free; you pay for it somehow. In my parents case, I watched my dad make all the important decisions and my mother have very little say. Where are we spending our summer holiday? What neighborhood are we moving to? What house are we going to live in? Sadly my mother had very little input. I didn’t want that for myself.

I also wanted my own money. I want to be able to walk into Chanel and buy a purse (or a few) and not have anyone questioning my financial decisions. Maybe its because I’ve been so fiercely independent all my life. I just knew that having a ‘side hustle’ as the kids call it would be good for me. Being a stay-at-home mom would still be my main ‘job’ and priority but I’d like to have something else I was working towards.

Also, what if things don’t work out between myself and Zoe’s father? Wouldn’t it be imprudent of me to not have any income source? Wouldn’t I be doing my son (and myself) a disservice by becoming 100% dependent on his father? I hate to think this way but the realities of marriage are grim: approximately 50% of all marriages end up in divorce or separation. I need to think of Zoe and what is best for him. It’s no longer just me. I have a son that I need to think about. He comes first. 

Additionally, I wanted something to call my own. Since my group of girl friends became mothers a few became stay-at-home moms, however, most pivoted in their careers: one became a real estate agent, one started her own interior decorating firm, and one started a recruiting agency. I so desperately wanted my own purpose outside of being a mommy but what??!?! My options felt limited. Should I sell pictures of my toes (kidding… kind of)? Start an OnlyFans page (definitely kidding)? Should I start an Amazon business? Trade crypto? Become a day trader? Maybe I should find an easy 9-5 job? I suppose I could give up Wall Street for the warm embrace of a government job? 

After racking my brain for months and months I decided to start this blog. I liked the autonomy and flexibility. I could write whenever I had pockets of free time during the day. I liked that I didn’t have a boss to report to. I had the space to create when my schedule allowed. If we went on vacation or my son got sick I could simply skip a few days or even weeks and pick up right where I left off. I also loved the opportunity to be creative. I’m a Pisces and have always considered myself a creative creature. I’ve always loved writing and journaling has been something I’ve done for years. I figured if my blog failed as a business then at least it would be a creative outlet for me. 

I also liked the idea of helping others. Motherhood can be a bumpy ride and I wanted to be there for other mommy’s. I certainly found the transition into motherhood quite daunting and I wish I had known that I wasn’t alone. They say it takes a village to raise a child but not everyone has a village. Not everyone has a strong support system. Not everyone has friends/family to lean on. I want to be an extension of your village. I want you to be able to lean on me and come to me when you need some advice or a good laugh. I want to be your go-to virtual mommy friend. I truly mean that. Please feel free to contact me via email or DM. I’m here for you!

Once I started blogging I immediately loved it. It became quite cathartic. I spent all my free time (which was limited since I was chasing after an energetic 1 year old all day long) brainstorming and writing. Every evening I would put my son to sleep and then race to my desk and either write in my journal or type on my laptop (depending on my mood). This blog was my passion project and I went all in. I’m not sure what will become of it or how it will evolve but for now I’m enjoying the ride and grateful for my readers! So thank you for reading and thank you for your support! I appreciate you! You make this possible for me!

If you can relate to this story, I’m sorry that you had to go through this but trust that something better is in store for you! I would not have been happy working 80 hour work weeks and being away from my son. I would not have been happy missing out on family activities because I had a deadline. I would not have enjoyed missing bed time because of a pressing deliverable. 

I plan to write a step by step guide on how to actually create a blog and do a deep dive into the logistics and finances behind it. Please let me know if that is something that you’d be interested in!