Finding Child Care in Williamsburg: Nearly Impossible – Until Now

If you live in Williamsburg or Greenpoint, you already know that finding quality child care is a nightmare. Some parents I know have to schlep their kids to Manhattan daily because the options here are so limited. And even if you do find a great spot, good luck getting in. There’s the application, the interview, the never-ending waitlist—it’s probably easier to get into the CIA. Trust me, I would know. There’s a certain Forest School (you know the one) that I emailed five times last year, only to be completely ghosted. But I digress.

If you’re currently on the hunt for quality child care, I have good news: A brand-new option is opening in Williamsburg on March 31st. It’s called birdhouse, and it just might be a game-changer.

I sat down with Sydney Bennett, a founder of birdhouse, and Chazz Lewis, their Head of Education, to learn more. You might already know Chazz (aka Mr. Chazz on social)—he has nearly a million followers on Instagram and over 1.5 million across platforms!

What sets Birdhouse apart from other child care establishments? 

We’re really a completely new kind of child care and early learning center, built for the way families actually live. We transform single-family homes into beautiful, intimate learning environments where children grow through play, exploration, and meaningful connection. Our home-based model allows us to attract the best of the best early educators. Walking into our center, you’ll see that learning isn’t just structured—it’s felt. It’s in the way we greet each other in the morning, in the songs we sing together, in the way a child’s hands press into the earth during outdoor play. It happens in belonging and in community.

Do the children get outdoor time? If so, where?

Yes! Our center has a private backyard where children engage with nature daily, rain or shine. Outdoor time is an opportunity to develop key life skills like nurturing and caretaking. Whether tending to plants, observing insects, or working together to build outdoor structures.

One of the reasons we were drawn to the home-based model is the ability to customize and extend learning beyond a single day. Unlike traditional centers where projects must be cleaned up and reset, our backyard allows children to build upon their work over time, deepening their understanding and creativity.

We also believe it’s essential for children to be immersed in the sounds and rhythms of their local community – listening to birds, feeling the wind, and noticing the daily patterns of their neighborhood.

Is there natural light in the space?

Yes, our space is loft-style, designed with large windows at both the front and back, ensuring abundant natural light throughout the center.

What are the teachers’ qualifications and your approach to education?

Our teachers come from all kinds of backgrounds—some have run their own child care programs, others have trained in Reggio Emilia, Montessori, Waldorf, or Forest School. Our program is inspired by Reggio-Emilia, promoting cognitive and physical development, and Conscious Discipline, promoting Social Emotional Learning. Mr. Chazz, is a nationally recognized educator and one of the few early childhood leaders in NY that is deeply trained in Conscious Discipline (CD), which is all about helping kids learn the foundations to learning : emotional regulation, communication, and problem-solving!

We take an active role in balancing learning with life skills. Kids should leave each day not just knowing their letters and numbers, but also how to express their feelings, navigate friendships, and feel confident in who they are!!

Are there accommodations for special needs?

Yes! While we take this on a case-by-case basis, our guiding belief is that learning differences aren’t disruptions—they’re opportunities to build a more compassionate, inclusive community. Our small-group model allows us to be more flexible in how we support children, and as birdhouse grows, we see an opportunity to create spaces designed for specific cohorts of needs.

As the older sister of an autistic sibling, I saw firsthand how traditional education failed to meet her needs. I didn’t understand why school couldn’t be a place where she felt seen and supported. At birdhouse, we’re building the kind of learning environment I wish she had; where support isn’t an afterthought, but a natural part of how we care for one another.

Will parents receive updates (photos/videos) throughout the day?

Yes, we DEEPLY believe in the power of a symbiotic relationship between parents and teachers. Through the Playground app, we provide real-time updates, photos, and videos, ensuring transparency and enabling/encouraging parents to extend classroom learnings into the home environment.

What’s the daily schedule like?

Our daily rhythm is designed to feel flexible and open-ended, with some structure. Each month, we focus on one of Conscious Discipline’s 12 essential skills—things like empathy, composure, or problem-solving—infusing that theme into our interactions, activities, and classroom rituals.

  • Morning Greeting Ritual: We have a special morning ritual to welcome kids into the space (like a high-five, a dance, or a greeting of their choice) to foster a felt sense of safety, connection, and belonging.
  • Circle Time: Group activities such as music, storytelling, idea sharing, or baby-doll circle time. This builds self-awareness, listening skills, and turn-taking, while also introducing literacy and early math concepts (like counting, patterns, and sequencing).
  • Exploration and Open Ended Play: Child-led, project-based learning that changes depending on the day and interests of the child. They might be designing structures with loose parts materials, mixing colors in an art experiment, or engaging in imaginative play
  • Outdoor Play: Time in our private backyard, where children strengthen their motor skills, engage in nature-based learning, and develop spatial awareness. We incorporate counting, measuring, and observation into outdoor exploration
  • Family-Style Meals: Mealtime is a learning moment, too. We sit together, serve one another, and talk about our day, reinforcing social skills, practical life skills, and early math concepts. Our meals are provided by Rainbow Kitchen, a local catering company specializing in fresh, nutritious meals tailored for early childhood.
  • Quiet Time: Providing rest or nap periods for those who need it, ensuring individual needs are met.
  • Innovative Learning: Loose parts, hands-on projects, and open-ended exploration encourage children to design, experiment, and create.
  • Reunion Ritual – We close our day with a moment of reflection and connection.

What types of lessons and activities do you offer?

We believe play is a child’s first language and the most effective way to learn both life and academic skills. Our classroom activities include songs, creative projects, exploration through ongoing projects, puppet shows, imaginative play, and family-style meals where children are encouraged to serve, help clean up, and enjoy the ritual together.

What ages do you accept?

We welcome children aged 2 to 5 years.. Our mixed-age classroom model offers numerous benefits, including enhanced social skills, leadership development, and individualized learning experiences. Younger children learn from observing and interacting with older peers, while older children reinforce their knowledge by mentoring younger classmates. We ensure a layered curriculum to support the varying developmental needs.

What are the hours of operation?

We operate Monday to Friday, from 8 AM to 6 PM.

What safety measures are in place?

Our small and intimate facility is designed with child safety in mind, and our teachers are trained in first aid and emergency protocols.

Do you provide meals and snacks?

Yes, we provide morning snacks, a nutritious lunch, and afternoon snacks, all prepared by Rainbow Kitchens with fresh, wholesome ingredients.

How can families enroll or learn more?

Families interested in enrolling can visit our website at flybirdhouse.com or contact us directly at [email protected]. ENROLLMENT IS OPEN FOR THE FOLLOWING:

April, May, and June: Monthly sessions—families can sign up for one month or multiple.

Summer (July & August): A separate summer session, perfect for continuity or trying birdhouse before the school year.

Fall (September): The start of our new enrollment year for families looking for a full-year experience.

How much does birdhouse cost?

We offer 2, 3, and 5-day care options depending on the session, with monthly rates ranging from $2,070 to $3,450, inclusive of meals (two snacks and one lunch).

If I were you, I’d act fast. Run, don’t walk to learn more because birdhouse is only accepting 12 spots, and they’re going to fill up fast. Quality child care in Williamsburg is already scarce, and with an approach this thoughtful, it’s no surprise there’s so much buzz around birdhouse. Whether you’re looking for a nurturing space that feels like an extension of home or a program that prioritizes social-emotional growth alongside academics, this is an opportunity worth exploring. Visit flybirdhouse.com or email [email protected] to schedule a tour before it’s too late!

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This Summer Will Be Different by Carley Fortune

As the weather warms and spring approaches, can you tell I’m already gearing up for summer with this read? And this book certainly got me excited for summer! It was truly a fantastic read. I devoured this book—I don’t know how else to describe my insatiation with this novel. I could not get enough and needed to know how it was going to end. I would stay up late, ignoring my internal clock, completely captivated by the characters and their lives unfolding on the pages. The story was addictive, every chapter revealing layers that left me craving more. The emotional depth and sexual tension kept me hooked, making it impossible to put down. I’d definitely recommend This Summer Will Be Different—it’s an engaging escape filled with friendship, a bit of love, and the charm of a perfect summer by the sea.

Here’s my review:

Lucy plans a trip to Prince Edward Island with her friend, Bridget, but when her friend is held up, she ends up meeting a charming local named Felix, who shows her a very good time. The catch? Lucy has no idea that Felix is her best friend’s younger brother. 

The sexual chemistry between Lucy and Felix is palpable but they vow to not only keep this tryst a secret but to keep their relationship completely platonic out of respect for Bridget. But can they do it? 

Five years later, Bridget flees to PEI a week before her wedding and Lucy follows her as her dutiful friend but has a hard time staying away from Felix… 

I thoroughly enjoyed this book – it was the perfect, light-hearted romantic read for summer (yes, I know summer is still 3 months away but I couldn’t wait to read this). I adored the chemistry between Lucy and Felix and couldn’t wait to see if they would eventually reconnect romantically or simply keep their fling in the past and move on.

One thing I loved about this book was the depth of the friendships. They felt rich and meaningful, even more so than the romantic relationship, which, while fun, was somewhat predictable. While the romance offered a bit of heat, it was the bond between friends that left the biggest impact. The story felt like a celebration of female friendships, and the narrator captured that emotion well, especially in the moments of vulnerability and loyalty between the characters.

Carley Fortune’s writing was so beautifully descriptive of Prince Edward Island. The setting was divine and richly brought to life. The narrator brought PEI to life making it easy to imagine the gentle waves, stunning coastlines, and small-town charm. It felt like I was truly there, experiencing the island along with Lucy. Be warned, the dreamy coastal setting of PEI will have you wanting to pack your bags and head to the island! 

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The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

This is the psychological thriller of the century. I’m no Agatha Christie but I know a thing or two about a good mystery novel and this one was superb. I was completely spellbound until the final page. Michaelides knew perfectly how to create intrigue and suspense. The twist was so unexpected that I was completely blindsided. The ending was such a shocker that I still think about this book months later. I had few working theories while reading this novel but none were remotely close to the actual ending. 

Oddly enough, when I read the reviews for this book before reserving it from the Greenpoint library someone wrote ‘Not Silent Enough’ (I loved the play on words) and not surprisingly gave this book a 1 star rating. So I guess you really can’t win them all but I thought it was brilliant. 

Below is a short synopsis of the book:

Alicia and her husband Gabriel are the perfect couple. Alicia is an up and coming painter and Gabriel is a distinguished fashion photographer. They’re young, successful and in love. However, their perfect life comes crumbling to the ground when Alicia is found standing over her dead husbands body – after being shot in the face six times – and covered in both of their blood. Did she kill him? What was her motive? Was she set-up? 

As everyone around Alicia grapples with this terrifying series of events and struggle to come up with a defense not just to save Alicia’s life so as to avoid the death penalty but also to understand how this could’ve happened, they’re met with complete silence from Alicia. She is then placed in a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane and the mystery surrounding the death of her husband casts her into notoriety. 

Theo Farber, a criminal psychotherapist, seizes the opportunity to work with Alicia, the silent patient, when a job position opens up at the secure psychiatric unit where she resides. Theo is determined to help Alicia and in doing so uncover the mystery surrounding the fateful night 6 years prior. Theo’s determination to find the truth sets him on a path of self destruction that threatens to consume him.

I was quite surprised to find out that this was Alex Michaelide debut book! The skillfully scripted storyline, the truly unforgettable characters, the pulse-pounding suspense, the consistently enthralling pace, the enticing narration – all exceptionally fantastic! ‘The Silent Patient’ has one of the best plot twists for an ending I have ever read in a novel. Ever. It completely and utterly blew me away. This is a must read! 

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The Heiresses by Sara Shepard

This book was a fun read. If the shows ‘Gossip Girl’ and ‘Succession’ had a baby the result would be this book. The book was a easy read and I finished it in under a week. I’ve been on a bestseller novel kick and although this isn’t a bestseller I decided to give it a whirl (it is by the same author who wrote ‘Pretty Little Liars’ so I thought it was worth giving it a try). ‘The Heiresses’ has all the glitz and the glam of old money set in the perfect backdrop: New York City. I always enjoy reading books set in NYC and this one brought me back to my party girl days with references to the Boom Boom Room and Soho House. Don’t worry, I’ve a retired party girl and have entered my sober curious phase but that discussion is for another day. The book is a glimpse in the lives of the elite and what you come to realize is there lives aren’t quite as charmed as one would expect. This book had everything: love, loss, drama, mystery, affairs and so much more. I could totally see this book being adapted into a movie or mini series. 

Here’s my review: 

The Saybrooks is a household name whose diamond empire can be traced all the way back to WW2. The Saybrooks are the epitome of high society and from the outside appear to have it all. However, there is a decades-old family curse that has plagued them. 

Tragedy strikes again when the when thirty-four-year-old Poppy flings herself from the window of her TriBeCa office. However, was it truly suicide or could there be more to the story? In the aftermath of the tragedy the remaining heiresses: Aster, Natasha and Rowan try to uncover the truth before it’s too late.

Overall I liked this book and Sara Shepard certainly had me guessing. I could have never guessed the actual plot mostly because it was so outlandish and unrealistic. I do appreciate novels where the mystery is cleverly shrouded in more realistic and practical endings. Also, I did feel like there were too many characters to keep track of – it was quite overwhelming and easy to get them mixed up. The book ended in a very huge cliff-hanger and as this book was written in 2014 I would have expected a sequel release by now so Sara Shepard kind of left me in the lurch…will there be a book drop of ‘The Heiresses 2’???!! Sara, give the people what they want!

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Never Lie by Freida McFadden

I was excited to read a book by Freida McFadden because I read somewhere that Dr. McFadden is a practicing physician who specializes in brain injuries so I was curious to see how she would weave her expertise of the human mind into her novels. 

Never Lie by Freida McFadden was a book I could not put down. It’s giving haunted house vibes from the very beginning. At first glance I thought this book was going to be annoyingly predictable but I was quite wrong. I could not have guessed the ending if I tried. It was truly unexpected. The book starts off well, reels you in, but takes a turn for the worst. I thought there were many inconsistencies in this book for the whole purpose of creating suspense. I just don’t think the author really thought it through or maybe she thought the readers wouldn’t notice? I mean, I’m no Ernest Hemingway but I can spot a hole in a plot when I see one. I also didn’t love quite love the ending but that’s because I like a happy ending and you don’t really get that in this book.

I’ll do my best to provide a summary without giving anything away:

Tricia and Ethan are newlyweds searching for the house of their dreams. They visit a sprawling estate once belonged to renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Adrienne Hale, who disappeared 4 years prior without a trace. Tricia and Ethan get trapped at the estate during a violent winter storm and they conveniently have no cell phone service. 

To pass the time Tricia decides to read a book but finds a secret room filled audio transcripts from all of Dr. Hales work with her patients. As Tricia listens to the cassette tapes, she learns about the terrifying chain of events leading up to Dr. Hale’s mysterious disappearance until the truth is ultimately revealed. 

Never Lie by Freida McFadden is a captivating psychological thriller that has twists and turns galore. The foreshadowing and details in the beginning simply did not make sense once the plot was revealed which is a bit odd to me and left a bad taste in my mouth. To sum it up, the book was repetitive, full of plot holes, very far-fetched, and once the big reveal came, none of the events that happened previously made any sense. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I can’t say I am sold on Freida McFadden. I had originally planned to read the Locked Door next and had even reserved it from the Greenpoint Library but I have since canceled my request. Maybe her other books are more thought out? I might give her another chance but not anytime soon.

Would I read this again? Sure, it wasn’t the worst book in the world but there are better books to read such as the Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides. I will be doing a book review on that book soon so stay tuned!

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Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors

I truly loved this book but I will caveat that by saying I also have friends that didn’t particularly enjoy it so I think this book will surely divide readers. One reason I loved the book is as a New Yorker (I think after living here for 16 years I can call myself a New Yorker, right?) I felt as if the book truly captured the essence of New York. I think part of the magic of New York is you never know what awaits you around the corner. One seemingly casual night could easily turn into an orgy or a warehouse party in Brooklyn (not that I have ever found myself at an orgy but it’s a highly plausible possibility). I also found the complexities of the characters to represent New York. The author delved into the lives of the main characters, Cleo and Frank, plus the ensemble cast and wrote about their flaws so beautifully. This book touches on alcoholism and mental health issues but also captures the beauty and vulnerability in every human. You end of loving the characters despite their imperfections. To me ‘Cleopatra and Frankenstein’ really incapsulated New York and if you’ve never lived here I’m not sure you’d appreciate the book as much as I did. 

The book is highly readable and very captivating.The characters are absorbing and painfully relatable. I also loved Coco Mellors’ sense of humor and wit. One of my favorite passages is below from the point-of-view of one of the characters:

I need to make money. I need to write today. I need to clean the bath-room. I need to eat something. I need to quit sugar. I need to cut my hair. I need to call Verizon. I need to savor the moment. I need to find the library card. I need to learn to meditate. I need to try harder. I need to get that stain out. I need to find better health insurance. I need to discover my signature scent. I need to strengthen and tone. I need to be present in the moment. I need to learn French. I need to be easier on myself. I need to buy organizational storage units. I need to call back. I need to develop a relationship with a God of my understanding. I need to buy eye cream. I need to live up to my potential. I need to lie back down.

Do you see what I mean? Coco Mellors prose is hilarious and so relatable. 

I came across this review from the Literary Edit before I read the book and I could not have said it better:

A charming debut from Mellors, Cleopatra and Frankenstein is a beautifully written tale that is atmospheric, rich with nuance and offers readers a wonderful dose of escapism. It’s a story that starts with a classic meet cute: two strangers meet in an elevator as they’re both trying to escape a party on the cusp of the new year. Cleo – an ethereal yet difficult artists who hails from England is in her early twenties, while Frank, a successful media mogul is in his forties.

Promise lingers in the air as they ring in the new year, and a whirlwind romance, soon evolves into a marriage, meaning that Cleo’s expiring student visa and the borrowed time on which she’s living in NYC is quickly resolved.

What follows is an exploration of love and life set against a gritty and glamorous New York backdrop as we meet a growing cast of characters, each of whom have a part to play in the complexity of Cleo and Frank’s relationship.

Cleopatra and Frankenstein offers a shrewd take on the muddle and messiness of modern relationships; and Mellor does a great job of painting a fragmented world full of choice and chaos, and the search for true happiness. A love letter to New York, to the chaos of finding one’s feet, to the intricacies of waning relationships and to what it is to be human, Cleopatra and Frankenstein will no doubt cultivate a legion of loyal fans waiting for Mellors’ next move.

I actually find it hard to believe that this is Coco Mellors debut novel but was not at all surprised to find that it had been nominated for Best Fiction and Best Debut Novel in 2022. As divisive as this books seems to be, I loved everything about this book. The characters, the dialogue, the wild nights, the drugs, the fights. I loved how truly New York the book felt.

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The Women by Kristin Hannah

I tend to avoid books about history and war stories – there is enough discord in real life and I read to escape it, not live it even more. However, ‘The Women’ is a #1 bestseller on The New York Times, USA Today, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times so I thought I should at least give it a whirl.

I figured I’d read a few pages and probably just toss it aside and move onto my next emotional support hardcover… boy was I wrong. I found it captivating from the first page and could not put it down. Let me try to find the right words to properly describe the tumultuous journey I just experienced through, and with, the main character, Frankie. At the risk of giving away the story, I will keep this summary short:

‘The Women’ tells a coming of age story of a young woman named Frankie and her experiences during and after the Vietnam War. Through Frankie’s eyes, we see the bravery of the men and women who served in the war and learn about the challenges they faced when they returned home to an unwelcoming America.

The first part of the book takes us to Vietnam, showing the bravery, cruelty and horrors of the war. The second part of the book is just as captivating, as we follow Frankie’s return home. As gruesome as the first half of the book was depicting Frankie in Vietnam, the second has was equally distressing as we watch Frankie struggle to grapple with her former life as a middle-class conservative young woman. The storyline is woven with humor, love, hope, pain and anguish. There were times where I wanted to reach into the book and give Frankie a big hug; other times I wanted to give her a good shake and knock some sense into her. 

‘The Women’ gives a new perspective on the Vietnam War, helping readers to better appreciate the sacrifices of our veterans. It’s a story about courage, struggle, and hope.

‘The Women’ is novel of horrors, betrayal and pain. But it’s also about love, courage, friendship and hope. I laughed, I cried and I kept on reading mesmerized by the characters and the stories. I definitely recommend this book. It was nice change of pace and not too complex for my tired mom brain. The author writes: “This book has been a true labor of love, years in the making. I first conceived of it in 1997, but as a young writer, I wasn’t ready to tackle such an important and complex subject. I didn’t feel I had the skill or the maturity to achieve my vision. It has taken me decades to circle back to the Vietnam War era.” I’m no literary expert but I think she knocked it out of the park!

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Verity by Colleen Hoover

The first book I’ve read in probably years is ‘Verity.’ Yes, I finally jumped on the Colleen Hoover bandwagon and I get the hype, she did not disappoint. It is an absolute masterpiece in thriller fiction. I could not put ‘Verity’ down. There was so many plot twists. It was a page turner up until the very end. The book was haunting, thrilling, and unbelievably captivating. The story careens to a jaw-dropping conclusion that will keep you ruminating, discussing, and debating. I absolutely loved it. I even gave it to my mother to read and she enjoyed it as well (and she’s in her 60’s so I guess it suits all ages). 

I don’t want to give away any of the story so I will just give you a quick synopsis: 

The main character, Lowen Ashleigh, accepts a job offer that seems too good to be true (a large sum of money and prestige). She’s hired by Jeremy Crawford (a total dreamboat who I immediately fell in love with) to complete the series of his wife’s books. It’s all quite secretive and mysterious. What happened to Jeremy’s wife, Verity? Why isn’t she able to complete the book series herself?

Tasked with sorting through Verity’s office to gather outlines, notes, and pages for the upcoming series, Lowen stumbles across Verity’s autobiography that has shocking and disturbing details of her life. This autobiography spares no details including sexcapades and murders. 

Lowen is torn between showing Jeremy the manuscript and keeping it hidden from him. She doesn’t want to devastate him, however, she begins to develop feelings for him and realizes the benefit of him reading about his nut job of a wife. 

This book had it all: mystery, sex, twists and turns. I totally get why it’s a New York Times Bestseller, USA Today bestseller, The Globe and Mail Bestseller, and Publishers Weekly Bestseller.  This book was originally released in 2018 and it continues to be one of the most-discussed psychological thrillers ever written (apparently there is even a Facebook discussion group devoted to the book). Are you convinced yet? Run, don’t walk to the book store (or better yet the library so we can save the planet for our minis)!

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New York, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down

New York City is getting me down. The reasons I used to love this city are now reasons I’m starting to despise it. The energy of the city which once made me feel so young and alive now fills me with anxiety and dread. The people here that once inspired me now fill me with impatience. My familiar stomping grounds now elicit indifference. What I took as conveniences now feel burdensome. This city that once felt magical now feels quite exhausting. 

I can’t quite pinpoint when this happened but it’s been a gradual evolution as I’ve stepped into the role of motherhood. Everything is simply exponentially harder. Should I move to a new neighborhood? Should I buy a car? Do I simply need a bigger space? Or is it time for me move out completely? How do you know when it’s time to move out of NYC??!

Before I had my son, NYC felt truly magical. I loved it here. I loved everything about the city. I truly felt that NYC was the best city in the world. I felt like anything was possible. You never knew who you were going to meet or where the night would take you. At any given moment your life could completely change. I can’t imagine spending my 20’s anywhere else. Partying. Dating. Hustling. Life was an endless adventure. From weekends partying in the Hamptons to nights dancing on tables at Simyone Lounge (what we regulars called SL) – I lived it up. 

Once I had retired as a party girl I focused my energy on my career. I got my Masters. I then conquered the CPA. I worked my way up from a Staff Accountant to a Controller. Years of grinding away finally paid off. I was financially stable and had settled into a happy relationship where we enjoyed nice dinners and the occasional trips to the ballet or a broadway show. 

Then Zoe came along and everything changed. Life has become so hard. Just getting around town is difficult. The busses are so unreliable. Subways are not only dangerous but mostly impossible to navigate as most don’t even have elevators. Taxis are out out of the question. You try getting into a yellow cab with a baby, car seat, diaper bag, and purse. And forget about Uber Carseat, it’s easier to get a reservation at the Polo Bar than it is to get an Uber with a carseat.

I used to love the seasons in NYC. Growing up in Southern California with temperature staying pretty constant made me appreciate NYC. However, the cold is simply not fun with a baby. You try wrestling with a screaming 1 year to get him into a North Face bodysuit. Forget about the balaclava – you’d think I was skinning him alive the way he screams. And who wants to put on 20 layers just to grab a cup of coffee and a bagel. Not me. Certainly not Zoe. 

I also can’t help but notice how dirty the city has become. Maybe it was always this dirty and I was seeing the city though rose colored glasses? Or maybe the city has gotten more and more dirty over time? All I know is that everywhere I turn there is a rat, mouse, or a roach or all three. 

Even the museums are overrated. I know, I must sound like a snob but hear me out. I recently went to a museum which I thought would be the perfect educational activity for Zoe. I had planned the whole afternoon around this trip only to find out once I arrived that I had to check in my stroller. And of course, I didn’t bring the carrier. You try carrying a 30 pound baby for an hour. I’m not sure if this is a normal protocol but I went to a few museums in Milan this past winter and had no problem taking the stroller everywhere. 

Also the people here are simply a different breed. I used to love the people. I loved their hustle. I loved their drive. I loved their ambition. The only thing I’m ambitious about lately is getting to bed early. I used to really get the New York busyness. But that was the old me: the go-getter Jules. The new mommy Jules just can’t relate. I no longer have that desire to climb the corporate ladder. The only ladders I see myself climbing in the future are those at the jungle gym.

I can’t help but wonder how much my life would improve moving elsewhere. Am I ready? Is it time? Will I regret it? Will I get bored? The grass isn’t always greener. And where would I move to? Long Island? Westchester? Connecticut? New Jersey? We have about 8 more months on our lease but I need to think long and hard now where I want to be in the future. 

Maybe it’s time for me to leave the Northeast completely. My parents now live in Florida and I can feel it in my bones that I will end up there eventually. Has that time come? I’d love more space. I’d love living close to the beach. I’d love being close to my parents. I’d love having access to good public schools. All of the quintessential benefits of moving out of New York City are quite alluring. 

Also, how am I going to convince my husband? He hasn’t had the same struggles that I’ve dealt with this past year. The stress. The challenges. The loneliness. The few times I’ve approached the topic he seems to think NYC is the best place in the world to raise a family. Maybe we can live bicoastal? We could get a house in South Florida and keep a pied-à-terre in NYC. That would be a win-win for everyone. 

What it really boils down to is what is best for Zoe? And what is best for me as his mommy? Where can I be the best version of myself? Where will I be the happiest mommy? Where do I see us growing as a family? Where will we thrive as a family? NYC does’t feel like the answer to any of those questions…

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Got [Breast] Milk?

Does anyone even remember the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign or did I just age myself with the title of this blog post? For those of you who are too young to recall the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign I swear I’m a cool mom! Anyway, let’s dive right into today’s topic: breastfeeding. Or should I say nursing? I’m not sure why I prefer saying nursing over breastfeeding but I do. I think the term ‘breastfeeding’ is just too graphic for me. But I digress. 

Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart. My journey with breastfeeding has been long, beautiful, challenging, painful, and rewarding. When I was pregnant with Zoe I told myself that I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to breastfeed, I was already getting enough pressure from family/friends/society. But of course once my little munchkin arrived I was hellbent on nursing. I had absolutely no clue what I was even doing. I hadn’t done any research, read any books, or watched any educational videos. I hadn’t planned to wing it but Zoe came early and I was not prepared. Lucky for me Zoe was a little pro and showed me how it was done. He expertly latched on straight out of the womb and the rest was history. I remember the nurses coming by and congratulating me and I felt like a total fraud – I didn’t deserve any credit, Zoe did.

What I also remember was the immediate pain. No one warned me about the pain. How my nipples would feel raw and sensitive from the sucking. How my boobs would feel engorged if I didn’t express the milk. How my nipples would bleed if Zoe sucked too hard. Luckily the hospital I delivered at provided nipple cream; the cream and ice gave me relief in between feedings. 

I had planned to stock up on infant formula at home in the event I couldn’t produce milk (which I highly recommend) but Zoe came over 3 weeks before his due date and I never got around to researching and ordering it. Fortunately for me I was able to produce milk. However, that doesn’t mean my breastfeeding journey was easy. From chapped nipples to mastitis, it was far from easy.

Ironically, just as I felt pressure to breastfeed, I’m now feeling pressure to stop. Zoe is now 25 months old and friends and family alike are gently questioning why I’m still nursing. I honestly don’t even know why I’m still committed to it. Partly because I don’t have the capacity to end it. I know there will be a lot of sleepless nights involving tears and tantrums when I deny Zoe of his beloved ‘milky’ and I’m just not ready for that. I simply don’t have the energy. I also appreciate the bond that I have with Zoe. It’s our special little time together. I’m not ready to let that go. What if I don’t have more children? Or what if I have another child and I’m unable to produce milk? I’m just not ready to give that up. Not to mention it’s a bulletproof weight loss program. It’s certainly better than any diet I’ve ever tried (and I’ve tried them all from Keto to Paleo). I can eat my little heart out (trust me, I have tested this theory) and still watch my waist shrink. I can finally skip Barry’s Bootcamp without the added guilt. Not that I would have time for a scheduled workout class anyway – those little luxuries are a thing of the past (at least for now until I can get my life in order). The extent of my cardio these days are chasing my son down the aisles of the local library (he’s become a flight risk). 

I’m proud of myself for sticking to it. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve been to the urgent care twice and hospitalized once all from mastitis yet here I am soldering on. Each time I sought medical help they had to give me multiple IV packs. Nursing is quite literally depleting.

I’m trying to not let societal pressures dictate what I do. 10 years from now I’m sure I won’t look back and think ‘I wish I hadn’t nursed Zoe for so long.’ But I’m sure had I given up early in my breastfeeding journey, I’d certainly think to myself ‘I wish I hadn’t dropped nursing at 2 months’…

My pregnant friend recently asked for advice on breastfeeding. She’s terrified she won’t be able to produce milk. But the reality is only 5-10% of women can’t produce milk. So don’t be deterred if you’re goal is to breastfeed. If you think about breastfeeding in terms of mammals, I’ve never heard of a specie going extinct because of their inability to produce milk. 

After all isn’t nursing the most natural thing? Although at times it can certainly feel unnatural. In the beginning when visitors came over to meet Zoe and he would cry they would immediately hand him over to me saying ‘oh he’s hungry.’ I distinctly recall feeling like a wet nurse or a cow (or both). I also remember feeling so awkward and nervous those first few months when I had to breastfeed in public. I’d try hide it as much as possible. I would step out during parties with friends or events with family and what I realized is that I was simply missing out on so many moments so I decided to just nurse in public and what I noticed is no one really cares.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to achieve in this blog post – usually I have a goal in mind but today I just needed to vent a little. If anything I hope I encouraged you to embark or continue on your breastfeeding journey! Thank you for listening and if you’re breastfeeding I recognize how hard it is: latch issues, inverted nipples, tongue ties, self doubt, etc. You are doing great! You’re strong! You’re resilient! You’re powerful! 

Below are items that I found useful for nursing:

  • Electric breast pump – I choose the Spectra S1 Plus Pump because I heard it wasn’t painful to use and it has a rechargeable battery so you can pump almost anywhere (I know someone who pumped in the car on her way to/from work but I won’t name names). I got most of the pump subsidized by my medical insurance so check with your insurance before purchasing!
  • Manual pump and milk collector – the Haaka Pump and Ladybug Milk Collectors are essential for breastfeeding (I ordered 2 of each). The Haaka pump is a manual pump. The ladybugs are useful milk collectors. Also these products are BPA, PVC and phthalate-free
  • Nipple Cream – I used the Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream for no other reason than it was what the hospital provided and it seemed to be sufficient so I continued to purchase that particular brand
  • Breast Milk Storage Bags – there are so many of these breast milk storage bags on the market. While this is a fairly inexpensive purchase I would still do research as some reviews I read had leakage issues and the last thing you want is losing precious drops of milk (you’ll be saving every drop as if it was holy water). I purchased the Medela Breast Milk Storage Bags (6oz) and had no issues
  • Bottles – we ordered a bunch of different bottles but the ones that worked best for us was the Medela Slow Flow (something else that you will learn is that bottle tips vary in the strength of the flow of the milk)
  • Feeding pillow – we were gifted the Boppy Feeding Pillow and I’m grateful I was gifted it because it’s not something I would have bought but now that I have it I can’t live without it. You can use it when nursing or bottle feeding. It can also double as a tummy time for your little one. I must say it’s a genius invention and really useful
  • Formula – in case you either can’t or choose not to breastfeed

Below are resources for mommies who are nursing:

  • La Leche League – this is an online community of mothers all committed to breastfeeding. They meet virtually which is very convenient! Feel free to come prepared with questions as they offer information, support and encouragement 
  • Lactaction consultant – most insurance companies cover lactation consultants. I met with a lactation consultant a few times and found them very useful
  • Friends and family – I was lucky enough to have both friends and family that supported my breastfeeding journey and answered all my questions no matter how embarrassing they were

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